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stay with the father or not??

I have been with the baby's father for a year and a half, we have had more bad times than good. he had a very bad drug problem that i tried to help him work threw. he has been very mean to me before, and treated me like i owed him something... but when we had our good times it was the best time of my life. he is now serving 3 months in jail, so i hope he comes out clean.. since he has been in jail, my other baby's daddy has been tryin to talk to me, we have became friends all over, and im starting to realize how much i miss him..
should i wait for my man to get out and see what happens or should i leave him cause odds are he wont change?? i dont want my baby to grow up without a dad and i know that will happen if i leave him.

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:39 PM on Jun. 17, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (4)
  • A person on drugs has to help themselves, not be helped by someone. People can change, but if you have had more bad times than good, the bad times outweigh the good ones. You can't think about the babies not having a dad, at least they will haVe a mom that will be happy and healthy if you are not in this abusive relationship. And for the other baby daddy, well, don't just jump right into anything, girl. Take it slow, you are going to need time to yourself to get yourself together after the time you had with the man in jail. If you already have feelings for him, the seperation from the man in jail may have been the thing to get you out of this relationship. You have to think of yourself. If you are in a realtionship like that, then your kids feed off of your anxiety.

    Answer by samanthaevans at 5:45 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • It aint happening. They don't come out of jail clean to stay clean, they come out clean because there were no drugs to get (even that is iffy) I'd tell him if he doesn't get in a program as soon as he is out then you are gone. Period. I'm sorry but the odds are way against him and you do not owe him anything so don't think you have to help him through it.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 5:46 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • You say you dont want your baby to not grow up with out a father, he will still be around unless he choices not to but if that was the case he isnt a dad anyways. dont you want a GOOD dad for your baby? i rather have no dad then a crapy dad, and if you stay and you fight in front of the kids he is going to think thats ok...and may treat a woman like his dad did. IMO

    Answer by DilsMommy at 5:48 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Sometimes it's better to leave the father of your child than to stay with him. Staying with him just for the baby is always a bad idea.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

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