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Another ? about sister having baby #2

If you didn't read my 1st question about this its titled "sister having babies to compete with me!"

Well I'm also worried about my sister having another baby because she has not grown up at all since having her first child.

While we were on vacation in Virginia Beach last week I couldn't even count how many times I turned around to see her baby sitting in the stroller in the middle of a store/boardwalk and she was NO WHERE AROUND!!! My mom actually moved the baby on her once and she didnt even notice for like 2-3 minutes he was gone!

She is not careful at all, she swings the baby around and his poor little head bounces all over the place! She was constantly putting her needs before her son's. The one night he was hungry but she didnt want to go back to the hotel to feed him cause she was shopping and for some reason she never takes a bottle or formula in her diaper bag? She only feeds him 3 bottles a day! CONT

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:05 PM on Jun. 17, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I'm sure that you all have sat and talked with her about the way she is treating the baby she has now? And she is having another baby for all the wrong reasons from the sounds of it. Has she admited to you or your mom yet that she planned this new one?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • She has no patience at all. The one night the baby was pulling her hair and she kept SCREAMING at him to stop. My mom got fed up and took the baby to the next room. She had no patience with my 2 kids, she was constantly yelling at them and they weren't even doing anything wrong! My son stepped on her laptop cause it was laying on the floor and he didnt know what it was (16 mons) and she flipped out!

    When I tried to ask her how she was going to handle having 2 kids so close when she couldnt handle the 1 she has she got all offensive and walked away. Her 2 will be the same months apart as my youngest and her son cause there is 13 months between them. I told her to look at my son and her son and that was what she had in store and she told me to shut and mind my own business. I dont know how to get her to pay more attention to her baby without her getting mad. Any advice or should I just let her go?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • OP HERE again- She wants a girl and was pretty upset when she found out her first was a boy. She told me the day she found out she was preg that if this one isnt a girl she is going to keep having babies until she gets a girl. I told her its not gaurenteed shell get a girl and her response was " I better get a girl, you got one and its not fair! " I seriously dont know what to say to her? She is 21 almost 22 by the way but she acts like she is 10! We used to be really close but now I get so annoyed with the way she acts I dont want to be around her!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Anon :09- No she has not admitted that it was planned, I dont think she even knows I heard her talking on the phone about how it was planned. I was just talking to my cousin and I found out that she knew she was pregnant before we went on vacation she just wanted to take a preg test in front of me and act surprised!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I am not sure that there is anything you can do or say to her without offending her other than trying to help her learn life's lessons. Maybe next time she leaves her kid unattended, you or your mom should go to another place and let her flip out wondering where her kid is. Maybe you could suggest a parenting class? Maybe if you asked her to go with you to one, it might not seem so offensive to her that you suggested going?? I don't know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:18 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Sounds like she really craves attention... Perhaps she needs to go to see some one for help... to learn how to control her attention seeking behavor. She is putting her child (and future child) in a bad position. She doesn't get that it's about the kids, not her. At least she didn't mention trying to harm the unborn baby or trying get rid of it if it isn't a girl. I would try to act like you don't care about the pregnancy. No big deal. Try not to give her the attention she seeks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • There's not much you can do. As a sister, it's not your place to make her grow up...that was your parents' job. The more you criticize her, the more she will think you are just jealous and will either ignore you or get mad and start family wars around you.

    The best thing to do is to just ignore her. Don't point out how hard it will be - no mom believes HER angels will be as hard as someone else's kids. If she comes to you for help or advice, fine, gently give it. But if not, then not. Eventually she will grow-up. But at her age, only she can make the decision to do so.

    If you do see anything that is dangerous to the kids, talk to your mom. Let her know what you saw and ask her what she thinks should be done to protect the children. Yes, she is your sister, but a call to CPS may be needed if things get really bad.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:30 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Call CPS. No question in my mind. THe one she has is in danger.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:04 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Dissolve birth control pills in her water. :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

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