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what should I do about my husband who thinks it is my responsibility to take care of all things baby because he works and I stay at home? I love my baby but sometimes I need a break and my husband doesn't seem to think I do.

I appreciate my husband for working and making it possible for me to stay home, but sometimes I need a little help with our son. He is really good about playing with him but not with things like baths, feeding, diapers, or bed time! any advise?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Jun. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I'd tell him straight up you need help. Just because he works all day out of the house doesn't mean you're not working just as hard. Kids are hard work and I don't see how you would have the time to do everything. It should be a shared responsbility. One weekend, you should just leave and give him a list of what you would normally do on a week day. See if he can keep up with it. Maybe he'll realize just how hard it is and he'll start taking some more responsbility.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I'm a single mom to three 24/7 so you won't get much sympathy here.... the way I see it, you have three options... Leave him and do it all on your own. Go back to work and put the baby in day care to get your break away from him, or, get used to it and count your blessings every day.


    Good Luck.

    VeronicaLee

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 6:26 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • you should tell him everything you have to do as a stay at home, like, cleaning, feeding couple times a day, dusting, vacuming, loundry , cooking dinner, changing dipers, grocery shopping, cleaning his dirty underware lol jst kidding, bath, trying to stay sain, etc, and say at least you work your shift and your done and my job never ends
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 6:30 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • There is actually one more choice and I urge u to do this...go into counselling with a counsellor. That can get things resolved faster for u to leave him or for him to step up and be a parent and partner with u. Bring doctors bills with u and grocery bills to show counsellor and hubby dumbest that this is what u do and do and do and do ... plus house plus night duty. Since u have partner in the home u have every legal and emotional right to demand that he shares in full responsibilities of partnering and parenting combined. If after a while counselling doesn't work or after counselling ends he drops off again then make yr decision to leave.

    I speak from experience in the past and ongoing now, do not believe that your words of need with out professional counselling will affect him. Chances are counselling won't matter 2 him. But u can leave in clear conscience that every thing was tried by u to prove in court.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:37 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I am also a stay at home Mom, and I encourage my fiance to take a break at the end of the day. I take care of most all of the baby things, with the exception of some diaper changes. I really love what I do, and I feel bad because my poor fiance works a job he hates so that my daughter can be with her mother all day, which is really what she needs. I think it's extremely important that either of the parents stay home with their child, and that the child not be put in day care unless absolutely necessary. Feel lucky that you have the opportunity to give your son the very best care. I'm sorry I could not be of more help. I felt a little resentful of my fiance not doing much baby care, but once I got used to it, things got much better. I'm sure if you try not to nag him about baby care issues he will step up on his own and offer you help. If not.. you might want to try some couples therapy.
    lillys_mommy09

    Answer by lillys_mommy09 at 7:31 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Women have been figuring this out for centuries and not involving men. Get a friend to trade watching kids with or put the child in Mother's Day Out or get a sitter for a while if family won't help.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:33 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I'm tired of the attitude that says if a mother stay at home with the child, she should count her blessings. I think it's the other way around. The MAN should count HIS blessings that his wife keeps the home clean, does the grocery shopping, laundry, and child care. Each person is EQUALLY important in the marriage. Your husband works, but he gets regularly scheduled breaks. He gets to go out to luch with his co-workers, or enjoy a drink after work. A SAHM basically stays at home with the children. She doesn't have the same social opportunities. It's important for the woman to go out and have fun every once in while. Otherwise she'll get serious burn-out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Hand baby to dad, and leave for an hour or two. They'll be fine and you'll get your break. I cannot disagree more with VeronicaLee od admckenzie. The men NEED to learn how to handle their children! What yould they do if you had a stroke and died? Or were severely disabled?

    Just as every woman has a responsibility to know how to support herself, every man has a responsibility to know how to care for the babies.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:01 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • "I'm tired of the attitude that says if a mother stay at home with the child, she should count her blessings." What ever Anon! Try this... if your DH doesn't do drugs, beat you, sleep around with whores, and spend all the rent money, you should count your blessings that he isn't a loser. If you have a DH that goes to work to provide EVERYTHING for you to sit around eat bon bons and play with the baby all day long... then you should COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS that you are being provided for.


    What I am TIRED OF is the ungrateful sniveling little B*tChes that want their cake with an extra layer of frosting and they want to eat it while they complain about it.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Do the job you've chosen.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:03 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

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