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we didnt have a baby... i had a baby! do you think he's right?

well im a very happy stay at home mom! i love being with my baby (6 mos) all day. but my husband doesnt think he has to do anything with our son but play with him and support us. am i wrong to want him to give our son a bath every once in a while, or a bottle,or change a diaper ? i know im very blessed to have a husband that works hard, but dont i deserve just a little alone time!! i even have to take my showers with my son in a bouncy out side the shower curtain. and lastly my husband thinks that his job is way harder than mine!! does any one else have this problem, and any solutions on how to deal with this!


Asked by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Jun. 17, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Wow! Your job is harder than his no matter what. My husband even agrees that I work harder than him and he's a soldier. Atleast you recognize that he works hard too, though, because a lot of women don't. I would sit him down one night after the baby is sleeping and talk with him. Don't be overbearing or nag, just say "hey, I know you're workin hard but I'm exhausted after taking care of Little Johnny all day and I've been on my feet all day. Do you think you could bathe him while I cook dinner or just sit for 10 min?" etc. Or, try making up an excuse that you have to go somewhere alone and leave him alone with your son for a few hours and let him see what you do all day!

    Answer by tnm786 at 6:58 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Get a job and leave the baby with a sitter. Your car ride to work and back could be your "alone time" away from the baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I would say yes, he's wrong. Convincing him of that might be impossible, though. Good luck, Momma! Pray he gets in a conversation with some other dad who understands these things, because he won't take it from you....

    Answer by Adelicious at 6:56 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Your right op, he should be taking more responsibility! it is his child too. Not all guys think that just because they work hard they don't have to come home and not only play with the baby/child but change diapers..give baths...feed the baby. My husband does all of the above and I appreciate it sooo much!

    SAHM is a hard job, and it is nice to have some alone time. Put your foot down girl! lol.

    Answer by geminisummerz at 7:01 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Well first I would like to tell that first anon answer to f... off, no need to be snippy!!! And yes i can sympathize with your issue, my SO has not actually said this to me but he does represent it every day!

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 7:02 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • im asking my husband for 30min for a shower, or a diaper change, or a bottle feeding while im cooking. not 8-10 hours away from my son. i would go crazy thinking someone else is raising my child 10 hours a day, just b/c i want a helping hand in the house! a jobis not the answer!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Did he ever try to take care of the baby? I hear this alot from my friends, but then the minute they leave the baby in dad's capable hands, they second guess or criticize everything that the dad does or did. Men have very different ideas of what criticizism is than women do. He also may just feel way out of his league, especially if its the first baby for you both. Talk to him about it. If that doesn't work, just remember this stage doesn't last forever.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • thanks for all the comments! im glad my hubby isnt the only one!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Has he never spent any time with his son? My DH has slacked in the kids dept also. But when I ask for alone time or quiet time, I do get it. He's out of the house like between 12-17 hours a day for work and his alone/play time (like 7 days a week). I sometimes even take my time. When he walks in the door I hit a 20 minute shower. I know where you are and understand what you're going through. Hang in there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:08 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Typical dude. Mine wears me out with that. Whatever. Get your own babysitter from time to time and do your own thing. I gave up on the argument. Men are ridiculous and so selfish sometimes.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Jun. 17, 2009