Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Got a question... don't bash!

My husband has an 8 year old son that we are close to. We don't see him except for every other weekend. He's a good child but he has some serious issues. He's a liar and constantly starting stuff between his dad and his mom.. And they were divorced before he even rememebers.. and no I wasn't the cause. I just found out that I am pregnant.. Well I want to move his bedroom to what is our dining room.. Now it's HUGE and everything that he has in his room will fit into that room since he isn't here all the time, and use that bedroom as the nursery. Now, even as I say this I realize that it might make him feel hurt.. But I don't want any children sleeping with us in our room and it makes me uncomfortable to put a baby near the front door.. My husband wants to just put the crib in our room, but I don't want to do that.. and we plan on buying a house at the end of next year.. But I just need some advice!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Jun. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Maybe you can make it a new exciting thing. Not like "I'm having a baby so I'm kicking you out of your space" but like "hey this room is a lot bigger/you can help decorate/etc."
    Chandra034

    Answer by Chandra034 at 10:30 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Your baby really does need to be in your room for the first couple of months. Especially considering they will be up a lot at night and SIDS. It is crucial but your decision. As for the little boy... turn it into something exciting... like a chance to make it just his own and take him out to buy new things and furniture to make it his.

    Many children of divorced parents are really messed up by it but children learn from parents so somewhere in the mix he has learnt that starting trouble is rewarding and fun! Someone close must be exhibiting this kind of behaviour.

    just be gentle and loving
    mummylovebaby

    Answer by mummylovebaby at 10:35 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Do what ever you want it's your baby. The son only comes over every other weekend and I would put the baby where ever you feel is the safest place in the house.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • does he really need a specific rood is he's there 2 days out of month??? talk to your hubby about it, let him know its best for the baby to have separate room,and it should be close to yours!

    Albi1623

    Answer by Albi1623 at 10:36 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • mummylovebaby thats a bunch of crap. my son was in his crib after2 weeks. He slept better in his crib.. in his own room. All she'll need to do is get a video baby monitor which is what we had. AND my son was sleeping all night at 3 weeks (from 11-5) So no. All babies are different. If a baby is going to get sids its going to get sids. The only difference will be is that it dies in the bedroom next to you, rather than its own room. But really lets not talk about that because it has no reasoning for being in this topic.

    I like chandras idea! Congrats btw :)
    amy31308

    Answer by amy31308 at 10:39 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I completely see your point but like Chandra said it may take some finessing to get him to agree with it. Let him help decorate, maybe some new bedsheets and posters, let him pick out his own stuff and decorate his own style while you are making the change. And do it way before you need to start doing the nursery, that way he has a lot of time to adjust and he already feels like home in his new room before he see's his old room being taken over. Also make sure he has some sort of privacy there too, he is going to need it more than the baby, and a dining room may make it hard to achieve that.
    AK_aries

    Answer by AK_aries at 10:39 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • So even if you keep the baby in the bedroom with you and DH for the first few months, the baby still needs it's own space for the crib and changing table and all the other things you need for a new baby so either way, yes the other son needs to get out haha.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • Just make it fun for him, if the room is bigger just tell him that he gets to move into the big boy room and have more space for his things, when explaining it just try to not make it about the baby but about him AND the baby too KWIM
    hautemama83

    Answer by hautemama83 at 10:53 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • I'd ask him what he thinks of the idea of moving his room. Give him some time. If you just found out you are pregnant then don't rush it. You don't need a crib set up for a long time so there is plenty of time to fix up the baby's room. Remember not to make the child jealous and feel pushed aside. I still remember that little boy who shot his dad's pregnant gf over jealousy while she was sleeping. Killed her and the baby. Do what it takes to keep peace with the boy.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:20 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

  • You could move rooms BEFORE you tell the boy you're pregnant. But, this is kind of the dad's call, since he isn't your son, and since you don't seem to really like him.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 11:28 PM on Jun. 17, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN