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Absolutely Desperate For Help

Okay so a year ago I never thought I would get pregnant. I'm 19 and i'm in college more to party than to study. Yea i'm one of those girls.

But now i'm pregnant and luckily the babies father hasn't left me. We're still together, but I still feel like I'm going to be doing everything by myself- from watchign the baby to providing for it financially... and the worst part is: I can't complain since the father is still 'in the picture.'

It won't let me type all the details but I can't do this on my own and I have no idea what I can do to make the babies father realize what needs to get done or his parents to realize that they're screwing over more people than their son... I'm going crazy Please PM me if you can help at all!!

Answer Question
 
DanieVee

Asked by DanieVee at 12:58 AM on Jun. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Since you realize you will be doing it all on your own and you can't change the guy only accept him for what he is.....a guy!
    No matter what the woman is always stuck with being the primary caregiver. so accept things for what they are or give up the baby to a stable couple...there is nothing wrong in doing so....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:33 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I have to agree with the first anon. Not to sound harsh but that's just the way it is. Good Luck sweety.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:03 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • hey thanks everyone who has replied so far but just to clarify:

    I'm keeping my baby,

    I'm 33 weeks pregnant.

    I live at home with my parents and am still under their medical insurance.

    Since I found out I was pregnant my life has completel 180ed-- I still go out (not as much as I used to) but I usually have a virgin whatever everyone else is having or some water.

    The baby's father *wants* to be in his life, but isnt doing anythign to help me out. I've actually already told him that unless he gets a car, and apt, and a job he's not getting our son. He says he's trying but if thats true he must have the worst luck in the entire world.

    I'm going tomorrow to talk to his parents, how do I get them to stop enabling his laziness and be more supportive (they keep saying they want to help with the baby too but all they're doing is making life harder for the both of us.)
    DanieVee

    Answer by DanieVee at 11:46 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Clearly you make a bad choice here. You say he is lazy needs a car, a place to live away from his parents, and lastly a job. Both or you have put your parents in a position that is not fair to them. You say that you won't let him take his son unless he gets it together but you also live with your parents. You don't seem to have it together either. Both of you need to get it together. Maybe your parents need to go with you when you talk to his parents since they are going to be providing for some needs here. This is not the ideal situation for any grandparent. You would hope that your sons and daughters are with it when the decide to start having sex and then bring a baby into the world. A warm body does not mean he will be a good father. The dad may or may not help. He is a baby himself. Blessings to you my dear. I pray you have a healthy baby and that you really put this little one first in your decisions.
    grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 3:05 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Umm grannywilson, my parents actually insisted i stay at the house. I was prepared to finish college in a longer period of time and work full time- I even had a job lined up- but my father is very strict and wanted to make sure I finished my education as quickly as possible. So yes, I'm living at home with my parents but not at my own will. I was rather hoping ot move in with the father so that my son can be with both of his parents on a daily basis instead of only one.

    The only reasons he needs a place to stay away from his parents is that he goes to school an hour away from his parents house. he normally dorms at the college but I'm not going to let my son stay for any period of time at my college's dorms. They are dirty and probably a massive health issue.
    The car is so that on the nights he has the baby he can take it to daycare.
    And the job is so he can help me afford the baby. I work 25 hours a week + school
    DanieVee

    Answer by DanieVee at 10:14 PM on Jun. 24, 2009

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