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Should i fullfill my husbands fantasy?

My husbands #1 Fantasy is to have a 3 some with us and another girl? Should i do this? I want to make him happy and fullfill his dreams but at the same time i dont know if i couldnt hadle seein another girl with MY husband! what should i do???? HELP

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:30 AM on Jun. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • if thats not what you want to do, then don't do it, cuz later you could have all kinds of questions that you can't get ansers to so why put yourself in that position. thats just my opinion
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:34 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • It's a matter of opinion I think. I would NEVER be able to handle seeing my DH with another woman, even if it was his #1 fantasy. I still think it's cheating(this is just my opinion) even if I allow it to happen! Just like if his fantasy was to see me and another woman together(minus him), I would consider it cheating...If you want to please him and are okay with trying it, then try! And if it gets to hard to handle or you are uncomfortable with it, then stop! You won't know for sure if you'd like it until you gave it a shot, and if not then you know! GL!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • No, you shouldn't. Actually I would be really hurt if my hsuband came to me and asked that of me. I want my husband to ONLY want ME! There may be other attractive girls my husband finds attractive, but its soooo important that its just left at that and that he ONLY wants ME! There are so many consquences of having a three some.... and you are really risking divorce if you do this. There will be jealousy issues. You will feel unloved and disrespected, if you haven't felt that way already. I personally think it is sooo wrong of your husband to ask this of you, and that you need to seek counseling or something with him. I can't tell you how strongly I am against this and how aweful i feel that he requested this of you.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 2:38 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I'm answering this anonymously because I couldn't handle my family, or friends, finding out the truth. But I did try this exact thing with my dh and my best friend. I thought with it being someone I knew and trusted, I would be okay. I felt it was better because I could call the shots on what happened, but that is not what actually happened. Regardless of who it is, you will feel like your dh prefers the other woman. There is so much tension and drama, even now, and its been 7 years. I still feel hurt by what happened, and the only reason it started was I started crying right in the middle of 'living out the fantasy'. That isn't anything someone should experience.

    Fantasy is better left to fantasy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • my husband and i have done a 3-some with a few different woman. I personally am attracted to woman and we found it fun. We've also had sex with couples which was a lot easier becuase nobody gets "left out". In our opinion, it's JUST sex... nothing more!!! We don't love these people, just using them and they are doing the same. As soon as it's over they leave... no friendship, just having sex with other people! He's not "making love" with these woman, nor I with these men. We record it and use it for porn later... but he still loves me and won't ever leave me! I feel every man gets curious and this way we can curb that curiousity plus I learn new things from other women that I can use later.
    But, if you do give him his fantasy.... it might make him want it more. This entire thing depends on how much you two trust eachother and feel. I just wanted you to know, it can work and not end up in divorce!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I'm anon :58
    i have to add, don't let it be someone you know!!! no friends, leave it to a stranger... we tried a friend once and that was the worst thing ever. Sticking with strangers and people we meet who also just want sex makes it a lot different. Having a friend join in feels like she's gunna take him or he prefers her. A stranger you don't worry about it...neither with a 4some
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • As anon :48, I can tell you, it wouldn't matter who it was. You're either okay with your man fcking someone else or you aren't. In a normal healthy relationship, you are not. If you need to screw someone else, don't get married.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Everyone who has answered has answered so well......it will cause drama, especially if you know the girl, but on the other hand, it can be fun and enjoyable. It worked out terribly with my first husband (ended the marriage) but has worked out well with my second husband. Only one way to find out but if it's bad, the damage is irreversable. And kudo's to Anon58. Definatley go for a stranger. Sex always changes friendships, even same sex friends. Good luck.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I really don't like the lackadaisical take on sex by a lot of people these days. I would be livid if my husband's #1 fantasy was a 3some. It is cheating, its repulsive, and if you aren't comfortable then don't do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I would never do that. I know some couples do, but I would never be comfortable, My husband would never want that either (thank God) You should not be pressured into it, and he shouldn't make you feel guilty about not wanting to. It's not for everyone. It's not for me, If it's not for you then tell him flat out, that it won't happen.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 7:07 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

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