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Is anyone's tween still having bathroom issues?

My 10-year old stepson had recently soiled all of his underwear. . . We found them hidden in the hamper. It's happened before and my husband would address the issue, but I did this last time when we found out it was more than an occasional slip. I reassured him not to be embarrassed that plenty of people have had accidents but what was the problem? was he having stomach problems, etc? His answer kind of shocked me. He said sometimes he's too busy doing stuff to go to the bathroom i.e. video games, or playing outside with friends. I've never heard of this before, is it common? We had a long talk about personal hygiene and his personal responsibility and the consequences of soiling his underwear. I bought him all new undies and flushable wipes but I'm still worried he might continue to have accidents. If anyone else has experienced something similar I'd love to hear what you did.


Asked by laura8809 at 3:40 AM on Jun. 18, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

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This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • No we're definitely not trying to punish him. I just wanted to understand it better, because my initial thought was something was wrong with his stomach. He said the wipes helped him at his moms so we're just going to play it by ear and make an appt if necessary. My hubby said he went through something similar so that's why he's not as concerned. I just wanted to know if this was common and how others handled it. All these answers have been very helpful, thanks so much!

    Answer by laura8809 at 8:39 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I had a friends like that when I was 10 years old, she just peed herself cuz she didn't want to go home and go to the bathroom, so she would just go in her pants

    Answer by looovemybabies at 3:44 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I just don't understand it.

    Answer by laura8809 at 3:46 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • my brother is 15 years old and he pees his bed, he tells my mom I don't want to get up cuz when I pee my bed it's nice and warm.
    I told my mom you need to stop washing his bedding for him and let him do it himself and maybe he will learn not to do that

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Ok, I have to go there... he's not being abused or anything because sometimes kids that are being abused do that to make themselves less "desirable" to their abusers. If you are sure he's not being abused, I'd be pretty harsh about it, that's disgusting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • He's definitely not being abused. . believe me that went through my head too. His mom's a little coocoo ca choo but she's never hurt him. . and even so it'd be hard to tell 'cause sometimes he stretches the truth or makes up lies. . ex.. we bought him some summer clothes and had a fun time picking stuff out. . later that day i had asked to pick something up and he looked at me like i was asking him to do a back flip with no hands. . my hubby was standing there the whole time and when he called his mom later he told her i was being super mean to him and my hubby talked to her and told her what happened and asked if he mentioned the shopping spree. then she called back and said my stepson said we only bought clothes we knew she wouldnt like. no one mentioned her except him when he said mom never buys me cool clothes. . we quickly told him she does and we all do what we can. I also thought this may be a jealousy issue 'cause i'm

    Answer by laura8809 at 5:00 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • expecting but my hubby's reassured me this has been happening for a while. . way b4 i was pregnant. i didn't find out until i was in my 1st trimester when he left a pair in the bathroom which caused me to throw up like the excorcist. . I hope he can fix this problem but i'm really dumbfounded i've never heard of a child his age doing this on a regular basis. . i mean i understand every kid has accidents but to not want to go in the toilet just to continue playing video games or with friends is really strange to me. .

    Answer by laura8809 at 5:04 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Have the same problem, same answers from him...not being abused for sure. Do not know what to do either. My husband gets upset saying he is lazy, but i just wonder if he has a control issue. Our physician is a female and I asked him if he wanted to go and talk to her about it and he about died on the what to do?

    Answer by lessonlearned at 7:04 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I would talk to his doctor or pediatrician. Or have his father do it. I believe there is a mental disorder that causes children this age to do this, soil themselves. I remember watching a documentary about it. Not sure of the name but it is real and does happen and he may have to get counseling, or at least that's what the children on the doc. did. I'm not a doctor but I would highly recommend that you ask a professional about this sort of behavior. It's not normal.

    Answer by proudsinglmomy at 8:09 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • My stepdaughter is 9 and is doing the same thing. She pees her pants when she is outside and then doesn't tell anyone. She not only does it at my house but her mother's also. The question ran through my head of abuse, but I don't believe that it happening. As a the biological parents my DH and his ex choose to try the alarm. It wakes them up when they are wetting and it worked for a little bit and now it's back to the same.

    It's good to know that I am not the only one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Jun. 18, 2009