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Ok so for all you moms that have atleast 2 kids...i could use some help/advice...

My daughter is 13 months and my hubby has been expressing interest in having another baby. I am not 100% positive that i want another one. I am the one on the fence like if it happens GREAT! but if it doesnt i am happy with just her. So my ? we try? If we are having another i do want them close in age. So i told him we could try July, Aug, Sept. that way if it is another girl we already have the clothes. and if it doesnt happen in that time then i am getting an IUD, I just dont want to spend the money on that to turn around and get it out in a year. But i dont want to do the pill and i am TIRED of the monthly visit being so whenever and heavy. So advice on when you knew you were ready to have another would be great. I just think i have to take so much crap for just us 2 when we go place (i stay home with her) that i will never get out of the house with 2 babies! Thanks in advance!


Asked by babymaddy at 9:19 AM on Jun. 18, 2009 in Just for Fun

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Answers (8)
  • I love having my 3 close in age. They are 6 1/2, 3 1/2 and 2. In the beginning I did take a lot more stuff when ever we went anywhere, but then I learned to use 2 bags. I have one bag that is left in the truck at all times. It contains extra clothes for each, a prepackaged snack for each, bottles of water, etc. Then I have a travel size space bag that contains a few diapers, a small thing of wipes and an extra outfit for the youngest, I just stick this one in my purse whenever we go in anywhere. Like previous posters said, yes it is harder at first. For me all the hard times have evened out now, my kids are all close and love playing with each other. Yes, its louder, more stressful at times, an crazier around the house. But my kids have their best friends by their sides every day.

    Answer by ljmcmichael at 11:11 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • For us the decision was easy. We wanted another, but I wanted him home this time (he was deployed when our daughter was born) So, I went off the pill in August and if we didn't get pregnant by December I was going back on. Since we knew roundabout when he was going to deploy again. I got pregnant the beginning of October. Our son was born a month early four days after his sister's 2nd birthday.

    Having two was scary the first time I took them out alone. But it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And honestly by the time they were a year or so, I quit carrying a big diaper bag and just carried a couple of diapers, an extra set of clothes, and a small thing of wipes in a small bag.

    Now that they are 2 and 4, I usually just leave a packed diaper bag in the car. We rarely change clothes unless we go out to eat and they are all messy.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 9:30 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • As a mom with twins, I would suggest making sure YOU really want one and are financially ready before you have another. With the economy the way it is, it might be a good idea to wait. Yes, having two does mean double the crap. And besides, you just probably just got baby off the bottle. Just think in 6-12 more months, you can start potty training and that will be a lot easier w/o being bloated and pregnant. Don't worry about them not being very close in age. My sister and I are many years apart (10+) and we are/have always been close. Good luck with whatever you choose. :)

    Answer by Mama_Kimmy at 9:33 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I never decided I was ready to have another, he just turned up! It is exponentially harder to do anything when you have two, especially the first couple months after the second one is born. But as they get older, it gets easier, and you will learn all the little time-saving tricks to help get you out of the house a little quicker.

    With that said, I want to tell you that my husband and I have long since decided the best thing we could have ever done for our son, was have his baby brother. Yes they fight, yes they are twice as loud, and twice as frustrating, but they are also best friends. They are growing and learning together, and no matter what else happens, they will always have each other. They are exactly two years apart, so they are still close enough in age to be almost equals, although of course the older one still dominates the relationship, for now.

    Answer by my2.5boys at 9:36 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • For us it was a no brainer. I had one dauther already when we got married from my previous marriage so not only did I want another child but so did he and I wanted him to have a bilogical connection too, but also for my daughter I didn't want her to go thru life not having a sibling. Most people I know who are only children while they admit that they grew up just fine the also say they wish they had someone to share things with too.

    Call me crazy too but as we age and get older I didn't want the responsibility of helping my husband and I in our older years to fall to one child. I thought that perhaps if the job could be shared it would be easier on everyone.

    We're done with having kids, I'm now 32 and while I'm young enough to have more we just think financially we're better off not. The world around us is so much affordable when you're a family of four, but if we were to get pregnant again we'd just make do.

    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 9:48 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • All of mine except our youngest were unplanned. It was stressful b/c I got preggo on birth control both times.. We didn't actually want kids until I was around 25.. But we have 3 boys and love them very much it is very hard b/c they are 4 yrs, 3 on july 14th, and 16 months. They bicker and fight over toys all the time.. but the also have someone else to play with.. So the pros and cons I think have to be weighed out by you and hubby. But mstly you b/c if you get preg b/c he wanted it you may end up resenting him..

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I have 5. My first three kids were seperated by 5,3 and 8 yrs. I enjoyed each one, and had time for all of them. At the age of 39 and 40 I had two more boys that are 13 months apart. I don't know how mom's of multiples do it. I know I was considered "advanced maternal age" but I don't feel old or tired for the most part. I don't think it is really me, they are just really close in age and very active. The fact that they have 3 older sib's that spoil the crap out of them does not help. I would never ever recomend anyone have kids that close in age if they can help it. I would say a minimum of 22 months apart is nice. My kids are now 23,18,15,3 and 2. they are very close to one another emotionally. I am happy I had them al, I just would have never had the last two so close together, it was really hard for awhile. It gets better with each passing year.

    Answer by salexander at 10:15 AM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I was on the fence too...DH really wanted another but I was happy with what I had. For the record you will in fact never get out of the house again. LOL! And i secretly hoped for another girl so I wouldn't have to buy all new clothes too. But my son came when he came (5 years later) and I garaged saled all my daughters clothes and took the money to buy boy stuff. Learned to love being at home and never once regretted having another one. I think had I not had anymore I would have regretted it in the long run. Once you bring them home there is no room for regret only LOVE!

    Answer by ivebcummymother at 10:23 AM on Jun. 18, 2009