Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

She wants to borrow money from us? Hah. - Long!

My sister in law got ANOTHER DUI and wants to borrow money to pay her $1200 fines. Ok, I'd consider it if she was a nice person that also did nice things. She's very decieving, a huuuge slut that uses abortion as birth control, and very very immature.. she's 31 and acts like she's maybe 14, tops. My husband is actually considering it, which ticks me off sooo bad. His mom and dad are almost presurring him into helping her sorry ass, since they're broke as hell and can't help her themselves. I don't know what to even start to tell him without things blowing up into a huge fight!!! She's borrowed money from my husband in the passed.. hundreds and hundreds of dollars and has never payed him back. He seems to have forgotten this, or doesn't even care when I mention it to him.. I'm thinking I should take matters into my own hands and have some words with her, but have no idea on how to go about it. Thanks for reading this.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Jun. 18, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I was almost in the same spot! BOTH my husbands parents and his sister were always asking us for money for some reason or another. I got fed up with it after it was a monthly thing and told him he had to cut it off or we would never be able to afford things we want such as a house. This last time his sister called for money was because she had just moved states away without a job in her new state with a guy who was but wasn't her boyfriend at the same time. Within a week of her moving she found out she was pregnant and we were paying for her food (because they moved with only enough money to pay for the gas to get there). My husband told her to not bother calling again till she has paid us back. She still hasn't called him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I htink you should keep it between you and your husband and not have words with her. Gather information about enabling and keep it about her getting help and not about the money. If she continues to be bailed out she will never learn the lessons. How many situations like this have happened? Write down thesee facts and show him the pattern of bad choices and bailouts. Info online will talk about family members hitting bottom and rebuilding lives. don't be emotional about it, but tell him you dont support it and here is y...
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:23 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Considering the offense and what she is wanting to borrow the money for, I think I would tell her to go to hell. It isn't a punishment if you don't learn from your mistakes. If he gives her the money, he is enabling her, and he will be shelling out more money for the next DUI. She needs to be accountable for her mistakes. Today is as good of a time as any for her to start getting a clue.
    There would be no way that my child would be going without something so their drunk auntie can get her kicks. Something you might want to remind your husband of.
    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 12:32 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I can see why you would feel the way you do. But honestly, it's his sister. Blood ties are strong. If it were me, and the situation was flipped (my sister needed the$) I'd do whatever I could to help her out, because that's what you do for those you love. My husband probably wouldn't allow me to give it to her, but I'd try my best.

    That's just me, though.
    christaberk

    Answer by christaberk at 12:36 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Not just NO, but HELL NO would I give her the money!! She's a big girl, SHE got herself into this mess SHE can get herself out! Don't say anything to your SIL - it's not your place and you'll probably piss off your husband and his parents. You need to sit your husband down and REMIND him of all the times she borrowed $$ and never paid ANYTHING back. I'd also let him know that if he gives her the $$ that means less money for HIS family meaning is wife & kids.It would be a cold day in hell before my kids went w/out just because someone else screwed up.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Been there, except my Husband very early in our relationship got tired of being the parent to his parents and to his sister. He cut them off, so luckily I never had to say anything. Good luck to you Sweetie. I would put my foot down (easier said than done, but if it was easy it would have been done sometime ago right?)
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 12:48 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • she got herself into this she can get her self tell her to go make her some money some where. sometimes u just gotta say no or she will just keep using u all for money. i know its his sister n wants to help but shes a big girl.
    wildcatsgurl06

    Answer by wildcatsgurl06 at 1:37 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I would tell my hubs "NO WAY IN HELL!" She did the crime, now she has to pay for it (as Judge Judy says). Especially since she seems not to pay money back and is not a very trustworthy person. If her parents are so concerned maybe THEY should take out a loan or find a way to come up with this money. If people keep bailing her out she is never going to grow up and take responsibility for her actions. She is 31 and has to grow up! Maybe the family needs to let her suffer the consequences and not pay her fine for her.
    If your husband insists on paying GET IT IN WRITING! Have her sign a loan agreement to pay you back and I would tell her if she does not pay this back you will take her sorry ass to court and get your money back! If she does pay, keep a record/reciepts of payments - in case you have to take her to court.
    I really hope your hubby sees your side and does NOT lend her the money-- good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:23 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • He is acting like a brother and caring for his sister. That's what family does. He knows he won't get it back and obviously he is fine with that. It's his sister.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:08 AM on Jun. 19, 2009