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Have you ever felt so used?

Has anyone else ever experienced feeling so used and degraded by a significant other that you honestly could never imagine being intimate with anyone again? Or that anyone would really and truly ever want to be intimate with you?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:21 PM on Jun. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • The first. And I'm gathering my strength my selfesteem back before being with any one. I'm more important to me whole in my body and in my soul than my body parts are available for any one.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I've felt pretty abused mentally in past relationships, but never like that. You both should seek counseling, alone and together, if you plan on staying.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • hon anon 1225, first responder here. If your abuse never made you feel useless and worthless then you were degraded not truly abused. There's a difference. Getting back self esteem is the most important thing some one who's been abused in any way can do. I'm glad your mistreatment was minor. But when it really happens bad, regaining self esteem before repeating intimacy physically and emotionally is very very most important. Wouldn't it be great to have self esteem taught in addition or in place of sex ed every semester early on in all grade levels. Too many bullies around.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • We're already separated and intend on going forward with a divorce. While I fully know that the reason for our broken marriage is my husband's actions and not mine (and I'm not just saying that, it truly is that way)....he's managed to create this reality where he blames me for everything, and during the course of this whole mess, has managed to degrade me enough to TRULY make me feel worthless...and that includes practically everything under the sun you could possibly do to make a person feel like garbage. I want my self esteem back! -OP

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Yes. Of Course. I think many women (and even some men) have been in this situation (some of us more than once). If this is/was a long term relationship. End it and move on. You are a great person who made a bad choice in a significant other. Lord knows I made it many times. If this was a "forced" situation, then you need to report it and perhaps get counseling.

    Either way, it's NOT your fault. You didn't make that person do this to you and you can't change them. So please don't, for a second, think you are at fault. You are a great person and deserve better.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Divorce does terrible things to you mentally.. Take how you feel one day at a time..Even though you don't feel this way right now,,you will feel better about your self. You will start dating again and someday meet the special someone. Life changing events are always hard. But it will get better.


    Answer by louise2 at 1:49 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • so sorry but I'm glad you are getting out. This isn't what marriage should be like. When did this begin? how long were u married. Yes I wish it to was taught in school first before sex ed!!! Heal by beginning with a getaway with a few friends :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:01 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • emotional and sexual abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse. Sometimes it takes longer to heal too. I remember asking my xh, "you want me to do what? with WHAT?" Hence the term X!

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:31 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

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