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What do you think constitutes emotional abuse?

I posted on one of my boards about my husband's behavior and several people replied that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. The post is at: http://www.cafemom.com/group/94/forums/read/9158486/I_no_longer_know_what_the_best_thing_for_my_kids_is. Do you think that threatening to spank a 14 yr old, asking the kids if they are stupid or purposely disobeying, or bringing up negative incidents that happened 5 years ago is emotionally abusive?

I really need some perspective here.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Jun. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Yes I do think that is emotional abuse..
    My dad emotional abused my oldest sister and did some serious damage.

    If that is the case for you, leave the loser. You are doing more harm staying than if you would leave him.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 3:37 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Without a doubt it is. Condecending in any way is emotionally abusive. And, asking a child if they are stupid is blatantly abusive.

    Verbally mistreating or withholding positive emotional support from a child. Emotional abuse involves an adult speaking to a child in ways that are intended to demean shame, threaten, blame, intimidate, or unfairly criticize the child.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 3:38 PM on Jun. 18, 2009


  • http://www.thisisawar.com/Abuse (a good definition for it is at this site)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:39 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • I'm not sure that "emotional abuse" is even a legitimate term. It's a fairly new term. I think a lot of what is now called emotional abuse could be just an excuse to get out of a marriage that hasn't turned out to be as blissful as was hoped for. Women get their feelings hurt and bawl like a baby. A man gets his feelings hurt and says things he ought not to say. We would never call our boo-hooing abusive, but it's the exact same thing as his getting mad. We just accept ours as being okay and call his abusive. The better way to handle both is to learn how to effectively communicate our feelings to one another without bawling or getting mad. Unfortunately, that seems to have gone the way of the Model T and some other outmoded things of the past. Husbands want their wives to respect them. When that doesn't happen, they get mad, cause they think they deserve it just like we think we deserve to be loved the way we want.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:42 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Not bewing able to let go of the past is a bad sign. At the very least, counseling is in order.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:24 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • yeah that is emotional abuse. Anything hurtful or disrespectful to your feelings and your self worth is abuse.
    My 1st husband was really bad. If we had company he was happy around them corner me say something rotten and demeaning, to the point of tears. Then go back and tell company that i'm unstable.
    6 years ago when I met my current husband, it was christmas time and we had been out drinking. I did ONE STUPID THING....just ONCE in 6 years and he still reminds me about it like it happens all the time. He cannot drop the past He will put down my kids but DO NOT EVER say anything remotely negative about his kids. I cannot be me or do anything for me once he is home. It's all about him or he's pissy and moody.
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 4:26 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

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