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can i move out of state with my child even if the other parent does not want the child to leave?

my husband joined the active army and will leave for basic training in Oct.we don't know where he will be stationed.it is a real possibility he won't be stationed in our home state so we could have to move.I let my ex know this was a possibility and if so i would be taking our daughter with us.my ex does not want me to take her out of state.we have joint custody but i am the primary and our divorce decrey does not state that i cant move out of state so is there any thing he can do about this?

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Caroline84

Asked by Caroline84 at 9:29 PM on Jun. 18, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (28)
  • well he could take you back to court about it but it would probly take a while before anything finalizes. so if you're the primary, and there's nothing about you not moving out of state then you should be able too
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • it depends on the custody agreement. i have a coworker who's agreement states that she can not take her child out of state unless the father agrees. it's very clear. if you're agreement doesn't state that, i would think he'd have to take the initiative to take it up in court. you'll definitely want to speak to your attorney to go over your options before even making an informal response to your ex.
    mellypoo

    Answer by mellypoo at 9:34 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • talk to a lawyer before you do anything
    but here's what I know if you (or he) has custody you cant kidnap your own child... with that said if your ex picked her up and took her to his place that is not kid napping either
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:35 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • No, you are not legally allowed to move out of state. if he has even partial custody, this could potentially be considered kidnapping. Not to mention...for moral reasons, you shouldn't take your child away from their dad if at all possible. that's quite selfish.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Anon 9:35 is wrong, actually,. MANY, many kidnapping have been by parents with joint custody.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • You will need to go before the judge and explain why you are moving. Most likely (especially because it is military) the Judge will amend your custody.
    luna124

    Answer by luna124 at 9:46 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Like luna said
    You'll have to go before a judge and have them amend the order, but i dont necessarily think that it will be easy. I think it depends on a lot of things. Talk to your lawyer if you have one and take it before a judge before your ex takes you to court.

    I'm a military wife too!
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 9:49 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Your ex can take you to court and prevent it, I would defently speak to an attorney before doing anything just to cover your own butt and make sure everything is done the correct way
    bshelly

    Answer by bshelly at 9:51 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Oh yeah, also if you can get a copy of your husbands orders or something from his command saying he has to go, it will help a lot.

    Sorry I didn't mean to make it sound easy. I guess it depends on what state you live in as to how "easy" it is.
    luna124

    Answer by luna124 at 10:01 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Just do it the right way. Go to court. When you know where you're moving the court will work out a new custody agreement, which you do have to follow. If you go to court and do it the right way, there's a sliiiiiim chance that they'll tell you that you can't take the child you have physical custody of with you when you move with your husband/family.
    AriMicSun

    Answer by AriMicSun at 10:06 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

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