Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I know if my husband loves me?

Hello! I'm 7 months pregnant and until recently happy with my hubby. He is acting strange, I've confronted him and asked him to tell me the truth if he loves me. He refuses to answer me. I'm afraid he is with me because the baby and won't breakup with me until the baby is born. How do I know he really loves me?

 
sailormoonjen85

Asked by sailormoonjen85 at 10:25 PM on Jun. 18, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (24 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My husband freaks out every time I'm pregnant. Part of it is the huge responsibility that's looming around the corner. Another part is that you don't feel well and are acting differently. Also, you aren't seeing things rationally because of your hormones.

    Give him space. Maybe even tell him to have a guy day out (going fishing, golfing, or just seeing a movie by himself). Don't ask him if he loves you any more. Constantly forcing him to validate your insecurities will only make him want to run for the hills.

    He married you and made a child with you. Be patient while he adjusts to this huge transition in your lives. It's easier for you because you feel the baby growing. For him, this whole process is strange, new, and foreign.

    Also, have you thought that maybe he feels you are going to love the baby more than him? You think you need him to say "I love you" but maybe that's what he's needing from you.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 1:11 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • He's probably just going into his first "daddy freak out" mode.

    The next will come when you ask him to change a dirty diaper ;)

    But really, sometimes fathers to be do get kinda whacked out b/c of the upcoming birth, they have no idea what to expect. I think it comes naturally for us mothers, but it can be a rough transition for some dads. And also, you may be over thinking and over worrying about things b/c of your raging hormones. ;)

    Back off for a week or two, then ask him out on a date. Literally, before the baby comes, go to him and ask him to a movie and dinner. TALK! Get your feelings out in the open, he is your life partner, he's up for it. ;)
    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 10:30 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • OK...some men go through this strange, detachment freak out kind of thing when their wives/so's get pregnant...and it usually worsens through out the pregnancy. More than likely thats whats going on. There's soooo much focus being put on the new baby coming that they feel like you will forget them. I know its weird, and ridiculous, but some men (I would venture to say a lot of men...especially first time dads) think this way. Its more than likely NOT that he doesnt love you, but that he's feeling scared and insecure...two emotions men do not handle well.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 10:53 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • cont...
    Take some time out to focus on him, let him know that you still love him and you wont neglect your marriage once the baby comes...in other words...talk to the man. More than likely he'll get over it once he sees his child and get adjusted.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 10:55 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Tell him that if he doesn't love you and want you then you will go find someone who will. If he says "ok" then you know he doesn't love you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:52 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • THANKS AGAIN FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS AND HELP! GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU.
    sailormoonjen85

    Answer by sailormoonjen85 at 11:34 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Oh, and listen to everything Abbynzacksmommy said. That was great advice.

    I was crazy, needy woman with my first pregnancy and our marriage was just like what you're describing now.

    Two books helped me a lot:
    "Stop Whining, Start Living"
    "The Power of a Praying Wife"
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 1:14 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

Next question in Relationships
help!!!

Next question overall (Toddlers (1-2))
My son fell and stopped breathing

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN