Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

trying to bond with my baby....but finding it frustrating? help!

my daughter is almost 7 weeks old, and im pretty sure she has colic. she cries every night from around 5 oclock to 11pm...and sleeps for about 2-3 hours, then shes up ALL night crying. the dr. says shes healthy and gaining weight, so im assuming its colic.

im finding it hard to bond with her. every time shes even awake shes screaming. shes breastfed, but thats no walk in the park, bc the whole time she fusses and waves her arms and screams. so we tried bottles, same thing. the very few times she is awake and quiet, im too exhausted, both emotionally and pyhsically that i either leave the house or take a nap. (with her dad watching her, of course). i feel horrible, but im just so frustrated and annoyed.

anyone ever feel like this? i feel like a horrible mom even admitting this. and any advice on how to help with the colic, or how long it lasts would be much appreciated.

Answer Question

Asked by crzyblnde17 at 11:21 PM on Jun. 18, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I just went through this! I breastfeed and it honestly took about 8 weeks for me to really BOND with my DD. I had to cut dairy out of my diet because the cow's milk proteins were upsetting her and giving her gas. Try giving her GRIPE WATER. It's the BEST ever. I would buy it by the gallon if they sold it like that. I love the brand Baby's Bliss. Give her a dose when she starts getting gassy or acting collicy and it will help soothe her tummy. Contact a lactation consultant or your LLL leader for advice on what, if anything, you might want to consider excluding from your diet. Every now and then I'll eat something with dairy and just give DD gripe water.

    Answer by Kat770 at 11:30 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • eyerybody gets frustrated with babies, and annoyed, and if they say they dont they are lieing. babies take ALOT of energy. try all kinds of soothing methods, bundle her up real tight in a blanket, i also suggest getting a womb bear. you turn it on AND off and it has a heart beat actually recorded from the womb. that might help, try checking to see if she has gas, dirty, what not. and all babies have that phase its called purple crying. if she ever frustrates you just put her somewhere safe and go calm down for ten minutes. and then go back to it. try bouncing her anything you can think of, something should work, and remember that.

    Answer by LA09TKP at 11:30 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Hey sending you hugs and kisses. Colic is hard and you just have to hang in there. If you can try getting out with the baby. You might find she is more relaxed or she cries more but it wont seem so intense.

    When you BF try swaddling her and also for sleep. This help to stop their random arm movements. At the moment she cannot contol what they are doing.

    Take a really deep breath and try and just BE with her. I know its hard but even though you may not be able to stop the crying you are nurturing her by holding her. Dancing around with her in my arms worked for me and the holy grail... a nice warm bath and tummy massage. It settles their tum tum and relaxes them so they can eat and relax

    Good luck... it does get easier in time and for now be gentle with yourself

    Answer by mummylovebaby at 11:36 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • btw, you can get gripe water at any pharmacy like CVS. and get a medicine dropper for it if you don't have one. in DD's 4th or 5th week of life she was SOOO collicy for about 5 days break... she comfort nursed almost solidly and I was worn ragged. we tried gripe water the 5th night and I guess DD was so relieved her tummy wasn't hurting that she actually slept a LOT... it was crazy. I hope you have luck!

    Answer by Kat770 at 11:37 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • Seriously, I noticed this with both my boys from about 5 weeks till they were about 8 weeks old, neither one of my boys had colic. Do you think that maybe you are overproducing ( I was!) and I would basically choke my little ones with breast milk because the force of my let down was too much for them to handle! Try pumping a little before you put baby to breast, that might help a little as well as all the other great advise the others said. I remember that this time period is a hard one, it's like reality smacks you in the face! They are sooo sleepy the first few weeks and then it's like they *wake up*. You will get through this, have you tried a babycarrier at all? I love my moby wrap! I would wrap my little one up on my chest and relax in a chair, fall asleep while baby sleeps...ahh....Don't feel bad, we all have our days! :)

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 11:41 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • My first was like that; bonding is difficult when they won't let you get any sleep and make your head ache.

    Run to the store or order online, the Swaddle Me Blanket. Wrap him tight so he cannot wiggle out of it (you should also check out "The Happiest Baby On the Block").

    Also, I found a nursing nest helpful because your babe can nurse without being jostled more awake by being moved, and a Moby Wrap to give your arms a rest.

    Answer by happytexasCM at 11:53 PM on Jun. 18, 2009

  • i agree with the previous momma's suggestions. this will pass and it will get better. you are doing great! it's awesome that you are breastfeeding! have you tried co-sleeping? that may help. i think the moby wrap is a great idea as well. i got mine on ebay for $40 + free shipping. just try focusing on you and baby, rest when baby does, allow others to help you, and don't worry about housework. try to get out during the day-go for a walk, take a blanket and toys to the park, maybe even go for a drive. it is normal to feel the way you are feeling, that doesn't make you a bad mom. do you have family/friends that can help you out with chores or meals? or even taking baby for a little? do you have support? hang in there momma! we've all been there (or somewhere around there). take care!

    Answer by kyriesmommy13 at 12:33 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • first, thank you all for the advice and support! seriously, it has made me feel much better about everything... i just got some gripe water and plan on cutting some foods out of my diet. i do eat alot of spinach, broccoli, dairy, etc. so im hoping eliminating that helps-i really didnt know how much of what you eat effects your newborn. i do swaddle her at night and yes, we are co-sleeping. but i plan on going out today and getting a baby carrier seeing as how shes in my arms all day anyways. as far as support, i have my bf, who is a wonderful dad but he works 12 hour days and is pretty spent when he gets home. other than him, i have his mom who helps, but again she works 12 hour night shifts, so shes usually sleeping all day. but other than that, i dont have anyone...which i why i appreciate all your kind words and advice and support! :)
    we are in week seven, so im hoping at its longest, i only have 5 or so weeks to go.

    Answer by crzyblnde17 at 11:09 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • la leche league has many local groups, you can also find support through i have chronic back pain, and the moby wrap is the only thing comfortable enough (for both of us) to keep her in for any extended period of time. she is 31 in & 19 lbs and still fits in the moby great. you can also breastfeed baby in the moby (and some other slings as well). i have a lascal m1 (supposed to have better lumbar support than baby bjorn) and it digs in and is uncomfortable only after a few minutes. if you are going to the store, open the boxes and try them there (if they aren't on display). i wanted to tell you that they make colic drops. i've seen them at wegman's and most health food stores. you can pm me if you want. hope things start to get better soon!

    Answer by kyriesmommy13 at 1:11 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.