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): bedroom trouble :(

well i'm not sure where to start...i have NO sex drive what so ever. i'm talking like i could go months and not even think about it. it really upsets the husband and i'm not sure what to do about it. he's my bestest friend in the world, so i don't know what's wrong with me. i've talked to my doctor and tried different meds for it...but nothing really works. i feel really bad but i'm just not into it.

has anyone else gone threw this or am i'm alone on this?

Answer Question
 
soccermama08

Asked by soccermama08 at 1:06 AM on Jun. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Going through it now except he's not my best friend- so not only am I not attracted sexually, it's just bad altogether.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • You are not alone! This was my STBX's main bitch. I don't have any advice but know you are not alone and if you find something that works don't forget me!! lol
    lmsar

    Answer by lmsar at 1:10 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • It could have to do with you being extremly tired physically, and your body just doesn't want it. If you can get a sitter for the weekend like your or his parents, take a weekend for the two of you, even if you just stay home, and maybe just giving you guys some alone time, and time to relax, your sex drive my go back to normal
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I don't have any personal experience with your side of this problem because my husband and I are the opposite... he never wants sex, and I want it all the time :p So I know how your husband feels, but not you.

    What's going on in your life that might be affecting this? When was your last birth? Are you nearing menopause? Are you depressed? How are the other aspects of your relationship with your husband? Do you have a lot of stress at work? All of these things can affect your sex drive. Sounds like you need a new doctor who will help you more on this.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:11 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • The more sex you have, the more sex drive you have. Make yourself a goal, like to have sex every day for a week or even a month....even when you're not "in the mood."
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • i'm a stay at home mom of 2. an almost 4 yr old and a 6 month old.
    soccermama08

    Answer by soccermama08 at 1:20 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I am the same way I make it a point to have sex with my hunny 2 x per week (unless it's that time of the month). I don't want to argue about sex so I do it and it's done and I move on and know that someday he might be unable to "perform" and then I can have a break.
    mrssullivan

    Answer by mrssullivan at 1:21 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Oh goodness that is normal. With children at those ages it is tiring to care for them and your home. When ours were that little we made a date at least once a month to spend an evening together. I made sure to take a nap while my kids were resting or my husband would make sure I got one when he got home. Then that night we would make an evening at home after the kids were asleep. Then after the first time I wanted to do it more than once a month. And really you just had a baby 6 months ago, that is perfectly normal. Your sex drive will come back, just plan for the evenings and stick to them.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:14 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • i feel the same way as u!! the thought never crosses my mind but when he brings it up i think about it and feel bad that i made him wait a week or 2! and i remember when we first got together we had it everyday for a yr and even during that yr i didnt want it he did and i wanted to make him happy! then i figured out he was happy to if he went without it everyday so i didnt need to give in all the time! and now the poor guy has gone month without it quite often!!! so when you figure out the trick let me know!!!
    Perdy

    Answer by Perdy at 2:20 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Get some rest and alone time. Find a way to take a nap during the day so you can be more refreshed when your man comes home.

    Schedule nights where you and your lover can be alone. Send the kids to the grandparents, set up a rotation play-date with friends, whatever, just find a way to be kid-free for a day and/or night.

    If possible, have a weekend getaway.

    I agree with the poster who said that having sex increases your sex drive. Make goals for yourself. Try once a week for a month, then twice a week for a month. Be creative and look forward to it.

    Give a great blowjob. Seriously. Some mindblowing head goes a long way. It's also a great way of indulging your man during those times when you don't feel up for the whole shebang.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

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