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I need help! I want to ween my 27 mth old daughter.

She absolutely will not stop nursing at night or naptime. She will throw fits to the point she is throwing up and will stay up all night! Mind you she has slept thru the night since the day she was born. We co-sleep and she knows nothing else. SHe will not even sit on her own bed. Don't get me wrong I have no problems breastfeeding this age. It's me. I'm physically tired of it. I know that is horrible. I just want a break. She has never had a bottle. BUt she eats just fine. And drinks milk. She just will not go to sleep without nursing. Unless we are in the car. SO I know she CAN she just won't!


Asked by luvladybg at 1:20 AM on Jun. 19, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (8)
  • I stopped nursing my 21 month old son 2 months ago. We also co-sleep and he needed to nurse to fall asleep and anytime he woke up during the night he would nurse back to sleep. If I ever tried to refuse him when he wanted to nurse he would go nuts. Like you, I was just physically exhausted from it, but I was terrified to stop ... I thought he would never sleep again. I read books ...(No Cry Sleep Solution), researched, asked questions .... until finally one day I just stopped. Cold Turkey. Amazingly, he really did not have a hard time with it. The first few days I kinda kept my distance from him in the evening so he couldn't try to nurse. My hubby was very helpful & supportive. Falling asleep for the first week was tough as the poor guy really did not know HOW to fall asleep w/out nursing. He was very restless and cried but eventually he got tired and fell asleep. I was shocked at how well he adjusted.

    Answer by carriemills at 8:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Aww! First of all, you're not awful! You have done a fabulous job nursing for this long! Do you know how many moms do it? Not many! So CONGRATS! You made it well past the WHO recommended 2 years. You have done wonderfully, mamma!

    Second, have you read the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley? She has some great suggestions for getting babies to sleep and some of them might work for your toddler. Have you tried just cuddling instead of nursing? Offer a snack, some water, a book and a song and then cuddle and rock. She is nursing for comfort, so try to comfort her in other ways.

    Also, weaning from breastfeeding AND cosleeping at the same time is a mistake. You have been there for her 24/7 since the day she was born. Look at this from her perspective. All of a sudden you want her not to nurse AND to sleep all alone? It's gotta be scary for her. Choose one, finish weaning and then start on the other.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:27 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Get her a cute cup or sippy cup with pretties all over it, her OWN special cup and give her drinks that way.

    Say something like,"Look..Dora is on here....butterflies! Let's drik together like a big girl!"

    My son is 5 and I give him drinks in a sippy still cause he can be silly and spill things's rare........but to save a the table I do give him a real cup.........just when he is walking around the's a sippy cup and he does remember to keep it upright so it won't spill.

    After the bottle, I went to the sippy cups and gave him a little to drink before bed...took it out soon as he was asleep.

    Darn cups say they are spill proof but there are times they DO drip. Annoying!

    Good luck!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I also wanted to say that weaning is meant to be a slow process. Have patience! If it really doesn't bother you, and your daughter really wants to continue, you might have daddy or grandma or someone else put her to sleep for your for a couple of nights and take the break you need and then start back up.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:51 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • KUDOS for making it to 2 years old like the WHO and AAP recommend. Not many american women do that! I would get the no cry sleep solution book and try that. Also enlist dad's help here if you can. Get him to put her to sleep and try just one (nap or nighttime) at first. A sippy cup with WATER is best so as not to rot the teeth. Leave the room or house entirely if you have to at first. I am letting my LO self wean and so did her brother so I haven't had to personally deal with this, but I did night wean my oldest when he was 16 months old and I use the no cry sleep solution to do that.

    Answer by aeneva at 7:15 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Past the age of two, the only beverage that a child needs is water. Take her to the store, and let her pick out a Kleen Kanteen or other stainless steel "big girl" water bottle.
    Next mark a day on the calendar to stop naptime nursing, and mark a day to stop nighttime nursing. every day, count the remaining days together.

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:24 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Con't. We still co-sleep and he actually sleeps much better now. He rarely wakes up during the night, where as before he woke up often to nurse. You have to be 100% commited to it or it won't work. There were a couple times at first that I almost gave in and nursed & I'm so glad I didn't. Also, as ready as I was to stop it was very emotional to know we would never have those special moments again. I hope this helps. I think what I'm trying to get across is that I completely stessed myself out and overthought the whole process and in the end it was far easier than I ever could have imagined. And he LOVED to nurse .. believe me. Best of luck and congrats on nursing so long. It's an amazing gift.

    Answer by carriemills at 8:58 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Thank you all so very much. :)

    Answer by luvladybg at 2:45 PM on Jun. 20, 2009