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why do you do this?!

I am a 45 year old mother of 6. my oldest is 19 and the youngest was just born. i was going through and answering questions on here yesterday and i saw some of the rudest comments ive every seen and they were directed towards the younger girls. i agree that you should graduate before even thinking about kids, but sometimes shit happens and if youre against abortion/adoption, theres nothing you can do. i think younger girls need our help more than anyone, who are we to judge just because they are kids. i have kids, with kids. my 19 year old got pregnant at 17, shes never complained, she finished school and is in college right now. why should we talk bad to them when really, its not like they TRIED to get pregnant. sometimes that just happens. there are 30 year olds who cant take care of their kids, and there are teens that take care of their kids better. why do women do this? why do they attack younger girls just because. contd

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Jun. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (30)
  • Actually there are plenty of "teen" mothers on this site that have said they planned to get pregnant. To plan to get pregnant as a teen is just plain stupid. As far as judging people, we do it all the time. Everyone judges everyone at some point and time.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 10:03 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • just because they are young? when in all reallity, they can take care of kids better than your average 30 year old. why do we underestimate them and put them down when they do need advice? why cant we just help them to become better people and guide them through? they need our help the most. they have more on their plate than some of us can even imagine. im not bitching. i would just like to know why some women do this to these girls, most of which take care of their kids by themselves. (please no rude comments or remarks, just give an opinion in an adult fashion.)

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I do agree. We older women need to be here for them if they want it. You can not change what happen so why make her feel bad.

    Answer by gammie at 10:03 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I completely agree with you. I will try and help anyone exspecially a teen mom. I ended up preggo at 16 and i have to say 16 years later (now) In a way wish i would have never lost that child in a miscarriage. I feel that teen moms that reach out for help from us women are doing the best they can and im am proud of all of them. Lets cut down on the on all the bashing ladies. If you don't have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.

    Answer by raemommy at 10:10 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Thank you! Although I have a feeling by the way this was typed it was typed by a teen but thank you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • i totally agree. i got preggo at 14. my dd is now almost 2 and im 17. i didnt quit school until very recently when my PARENTS decided it was best for me and pretty much forced me to by not letting me attand regular school because they didnt want to watch her, and wouldnt let me do school work on the internet because they said i should be cleaning and cooking, which i do for them. but i take care of her 24/7, i work about 25 hours a week or more, and im studying for my ged and deciding on a college. not all are the same, just because some teens meant for it to happen doesnt mean we all did, and just cause some teens cant take care of children well, doesnt mean we all cant. i make sure my dd has what she needs, and so does my df. i dont talk about anyone in a bad way, i choose to pick out the good points of a person, rather than fish around for the bad. i like to think im a good mom and a good person.

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 10:16 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I feel badly for the young moms who are struggling so to deal with life and a little child. The young women should be going to parties and dreaming about what they want to do with their lives. Instead they are trying to deal with having adult responsibilities. So many of the young moms aren't happy living with their parents, their boyfriends don't contribute, the moms seem bewildered and frustrated. They can make it in life, though. Many have. It takes very hard work and determination. I agree why be mean to them. They don't need that, they need encouragement and whatever advice they asked for, maybe just to vent. As do moms of any age, not just the teen moms. We've got really good people here at CafeMom. It is good that they found the site and know they can ask questions.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:16 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • haha. no anon, thats not a teen, thats my best freind. shes one of my moms freinds actually. she just wanted to try and relate to teen moms lol.

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 10:17 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • We judge because most of us as ,those parents in their 30's, feel it's a mistake to have children at such a young age. I saw plenty of teen moms when I was working patrol. Very few were the exception to the rule. The majority of the time they were planned pregnancies as a way to rebel against their parents and/or they were so starved for attention from their families that they decided to make adult decisions all on their own because their parents were too busy with other things. It does happen a lot. Having sex that young usually means that the child is looking for acceptance somewhere. A little girl becoming a mom doesn't make sense to a lot of people.
    I didn't have my son till I was 25, had a career, graduated college, bought my own house and was self sufficient. I will be 34 this year and having my second child. Priorities are different for some people I guess.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 10:23 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • See that's just it, they don't take care of them on their own. They don't continue to go to school, work to provide for the child and watch the child on their own. They don't have their own insurance and therefore cannot pay their own medical bills. They are still depending on their parents. Just like the p.p. said she was forced out of school because her parents didn't want to watch her baby any longer. Well why should they? They mostly raised their children why should they have to raise their grandchildren too. You see it more and more grandparents raising children. Maybe if getting pregnant at 16 wasnt glorified and everybody was so "oh it happens" maybe it wouldn't happen so much. Teens are having all out sexfest and not prepared for the repercussions. Yes, yes I know there are some older people can't take care of their own children but the adults who can greatly outnumber the teenagers.
    Oh and you are complaining.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

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