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please help me with advise

ladies i need help really bad my marriage is on the verge of ending and i cant seem to stop it. im soo tierd and i dont think i can fight anymore. i am ready to just walk away , i cant get into details about what the fighting is about bc to be honest it about everything and anything. one minute its good and the next min. we are at each others neck. i need some advise we have been together for 8years and married for 2. could it be that we have just putgrown each other? i really dont know whats happening to us .

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angelfood33

Asked by angelfood33 at 10:18 AM on Jun. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I am very sorry to hear this. You need marriage counseling for sure. A counselor would help you get to the bottom of what is going on. Being tired all the time will cause tempers to be very short, perhaps you and your husband are both working too many hours or have too much stress on the job- whether inside or outside of the house. I was a SAHM and was exhausted all the time, I can't imagine how work outside the home moms do it- they are superwomen. But anyway, get counseling and also if you possibly can, try to get a quiet, stroll along while holding hands, eating in a quiet out of the way place vacation, even for a weekend, someplace without daily stress and a place to focus on just the two of you.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:21 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I'm in a similar situation...the only difference being that my marriage has already ended and is completely beyond repair. So, I sympathize with how you are feeling for sure. If you ever need an ear to vent to, feel free to PM me anytime....I definitely understand and might be able to offer some good words.
    sophiafarris

    Answer by sophiafarris at 10:39 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • maybe marriage counseling. or sit down and talk. make a schedule for talking weekly and make sure you get everything off your chest. theres rules though. no yelling/screaming, no walking away, no swearing, no cutting eachother off. this technique has worked very well for me and my df. weve only been together for 3 years but about 6 months ago, we almost left eachother cause we were always fighting. this is something that shouldnt be taken lightly or neglected. hope it works out for you. good luck.
    xhellxfirex495

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 11:26 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Well, let me ask you this. Do you want to work it out? Even if you do, your hubby may not want it anymore. You both have to want it, for it to work. Counseling is a good, but only if you both want to be there. One person make it work isn't enough. And do you know why all the fighting started? Did he suddenly piss you off? these are questions you should ask yourself, somewhere in between your communtication broke down with eachother. I sure hope that you guys find your way back together if that's what you both truly want. Good luck to you!
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 11:45 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Councelling would be great if both of you want to save the marriage. Best advice I can give is when either of you are mad, one or both walk away from the conversation. I have to remind myself that once I say it, I can never erase my words from their memory, it's a permanent scar there.
    I try now to calm down, do something else and when I feel I'm ready, I try to look at it from their side of the picture. Was I moody and taking it out on him, has something happened today to stress him out, could his way be better in the long run both time, effectively and financially? Could we put our two idea's together and come up with a plan that we'll both be happy with?
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:57 AM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Go get the book Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs or Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes. Trust me, great books! If you have any questions about them, message me.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:05 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I agree with *Sillylins* - It takes two to tango. You BOTH have to want it to work for the right reasons and only then will marriage counseling work; and if he doesn't want to go to counseling, I strongly suggest you go on your own. It will help you cope with whatever lies ahead. I wish you the best.
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 1:36 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • thank you for your many responses i have taken a little from all your different advise. he has agreed to counseling and we are set to begin real soon
    angelfood33

    Answer by angelfood33 at 1:22 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

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