Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I get him to stop drinking?

My husband had or has a drinking problem. He doesn't know when to stop. Anyway, we have both agreed that he needs to have a limit of two a day, if he drinks at all. (he will not adhere to the no drinking rule at all) Anyway, he never sticks to it. I found 6 empty bottles from last night hidden away. I am 9 months pregnant, and need him to be sober to take me to the hospital when I need to go. I have cried, gotten mad, told him how much it hurts me and how I need him to be sober, yet just won't do it. It's depressing me, and I just don't know what to do about it anymore. It seems that nothing changes his behaivor. He just decides to hide it instead. Any advice?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Jun. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • All I can tell you is fighting about it won't help. Been there done that.

    Fortunately for me, after I let him go belligerent for a week strait and then broke down crying, he finally got it. I told him I couldn't live with an alcoholic, and that there was a choice to be made. Well, 1 1/2 years later we're still together, so...

    If he isn't willing to be sober during the week (that was our rule - only 1-2 beers on a weekday) for you and your baby, then its time to consider and alternative. You never know, once he SEES the baby things might change. But if not, its time to consider if you want your child growing up with an alcoholic for a father.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:03 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Don't let him drive you to the Hospital,for one thing...He has to want to stop drinking..He will not do it for you or anyone else.


    If he is hiding it form you,,then he has a big problem..Me,,I would go threw the house and get rid of all the alcohol in the house.Daily if I had to..

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:07 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • He has a disease and until he realizes it and wants to get help there is nothing you can do. I would strongly suggest contacting AL-Anon and getting some help. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/about.html

    AngelDawn7

    Answer by AngelDawn7 at 12:12 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • i have the same problem with my so you need to get him help and needs to go talk to a dr to find out way he "needs" to drink so much and they can better help him.
    mammaboyz113

    Answer by mammaboyz113 at 12:13 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • This is an addiction, maybe he does want to stop but he will not until it is a problem for him. As long as you are the only one who sees it as a problem, he will not change. He has to have his own reason for stopping either he is tired or it or he just does not want to do it anymore. Prayer changes things as well.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 12:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • you make someone change...they have to do it on their own...he has to decide for himself what is more important...his family for beer
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 12:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Your husband is an alcoholic. You having a baby, crying, hiding the alcohol, etc. will not help. Only he can make the decision to heal himself. The quicker you realize that, the quicker you can get help. I am the daughter of an alcoholic, and I've seen the horrible result when not only the alcoholic, but the spouse, refuses to see it.

    I agree with louise2-- DO NOT allow him to drive you to the hospital.

    He also cannot be with the baby when he is unpredictable. There cannot be any good outcome from it. What if he drops the baby? What if the baby is hurt badly enough that at the next checkup, the doctor is obligated to call CPS? What if he's driving with the baby while "buzzed" and gets pulled over? Not only will he end up arrested, but where will the baby go if they can't reach you?

    Start by going to an Al-Anon meeting. Talk with others who have been there what their suggestions are. Take care of YOU!

    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 12:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • You can't.

    My SIL tried for over 25 yrs. Their kids cried when they were little and begged him to stop. As they got older, they tried interventions, group counseling, in-patient treatments, out-patient treatments, leaving him for long periods, threathening to leave for good, drs told him he would die if he didn't stop ---- he still drank.

    My SIL finally divorced him & within a year he was dead. Drank himself to death at 49 yrs old.
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 12:19 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • For starters he has to want to stop, as long as he feels like he needs a drink he is going to have it it is too far long for him to stop. (It is just like any other habit smoking weed, smoking cigarettes, just any dumb habit that we do that we don't want to stop).


    You can not make him quit, You will have to try to convince him somehow (GL) to go into some program where they can help him. This happens everyday.

    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:26 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Really theres nothing you can say or do until hes ready. The first step is for him to admit he has a problem after that it is the getting help part! You cant limit a alcoholics alcohol to 2 beers a day because that wont work if you haven't already noticed! If he is that bad than he needs rehab and you need to learn why alcoholics are the way they are that's why they have Al-anon meetings for you and AA meetings for him! Honestly people don't want to believe they have a problem and something in their life has to happen before they realize hey I cant do this any more and I need help! It is a very long road and will not be good for you or the baby to see! Eventually if he don't stop and get help you will have to make the choice of your husband or your baby! I'm so sorry you have to go through this it is very hard and sad!! Good luck hon! God will guide you!!

    SD777

    Answer by SD777 at 12:29 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN