Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I explain to him that he has to be mindful that im prego?

My boyfriend go's out more now than ever and I am 5months pregnant. He comes home tippsy and one time so drunk that he couldnt sleep because he was so dissy. He went out 3 times this week and plans to go out again tonight. he never plans to go to a place that i would be able to go too, always the bar or something like that.When i bring it up he says nothing...and when i ask why he says"youre mad at me what do you expect me to say" I want him to say he wont do it, or to at lease say he understands where im coming from, but he doesnt...Ive also told him that i need him to be more intouch with the fact that im prego..still nothing. hes on our porch drinking and smoking right now with 3of his friends...huh

Answer Question

Asked by moodymommy193 at 8:19 PM on Jun. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • why can't you go to the bar? i went while pregnant with my son all the time. didn't drink, just went to dance and hang out with friends.

    idk, my dh was always considerate when it came to this, we actually had an agreement that he couldn't drink or smoke unless i could, or i said he could. if we went to the bar i wouldn't say he couldn't have a drink, that's kind of cruel, pregnant or not. but he limited it to 2...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I would calmly (although i KNOWN this is difficult, i've been a raving bitch the past 5 months, so calm hasn't be coming easy to me) try to explain to him that you feel hurt, because you maybe would like to do those things, too, but cannot, 'cause you're the one carrying BOTH of your baby. my SO was still smoking cigs & grass the first 3 months of me being prego, but i was like," dude, that's not fair - this is your baby, too. just because you don't have to physically carry him/her, doesn't mean that you can carry on with your life just as usual." i don't mind when he goes out (he's out now) every once & a while, but he totally got where i was coming from. he has to know that you're both in this TOGETHER & he must start acting as such.

    Answer by Wheepingchree at 8:28 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • my fiance never does anything like that but if he did Id march my pregnant self outside and ask his friends to leave because there is somethings that you and ur SO need to discuss privately and put everything out there in the calmest way possible...Im 5 months too and my SO make it clear that we are together on this and he always tries to accomodate me as much as possible... so hopefully you guys can get to that place too because it makes a big difference....GL

    Answer by Dom123123 at 8:43 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • it's called priorities. He thinks drinking is higher on the priority list than you. Learn from this. he's a drunk. Don't get pregnant by him again. He's going to be like this his entire life. Do you want that? Get out now and don't look back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • It sounds like a coping mechanizm for him, he could be scared about you being pregnant. He doesn't know what to expect. You do need to sit down with him and talk(or try) to him about it.

    Answer by homealone_10 at 9:09 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Should have chosen a more mature GROWN Male to procreate with.. Possibly married him (before getting pregnant as well!) Might have saved you some heartache! Because he probably wouldn't have made a good husband and you would have been able to find this out before bringing a child into the relationship.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • you know, some people are perfectly fine and mature and supportive before marriage/relationship and years into it, they change. People cant predict the future. Maybe he was mature before and became a jerk later on, no offense moodymommy.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • y cant u go to the bar and be there with him? i know plenty of preg people who go to the bar but instead of achol the get soda or a virgine fruite drink and either dance or just sit back and enjoy talking to friends along with other people...u be damn sure when i get pregg with baby#2 i will still be hitting the bars b/c i need to get out and socialize with people who are my age.

    Answer by rainmommy at 12:03 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
I kicked my son's dad out of our life

Next question overall (Health)