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Can i move my son out of state

Hello ladies,
My son is 9 months old. His father and I have split up, and I want to move back home to be with my father and all my friends and sisters who I left behind. There is NO court order here, we have a verbal agreement, where he comes and sees his son everyday. I told him I want to move and he threatens to get a lawyer to keep me here. So if I move before he gets an oder can I get away with it? I am truly unhappy here, and want to give my son the best I can, which is not in this state.. anyone with helpful answers would be awesome, I can't find anything about it online...

I dont want to be sneaky about it, but I dont want him to hold me down anymore then he already has.. he says he will move too which is fine by me, I dont want to keep him away from his son, but I can't stay here any longer. I just want to make sure im not setting myself up for a jail sentence..

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Asked by charrisse at 8:42 PM on Jun. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • In my state, my lawyer told me that I have to notify my ex-husband if I move farther away from him than I am know. He can object but the judge has final say. Depends on the circumstances. If you're not married, I'm not sure if the same rules apply. My lawyer told me the judge could force me to move back if he objected and the judge sided with him, or I'd be in contempt.

    Answer by cleo1969 at 8:45 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • My SIL went through this with her daughters father, and she had custody of her. The father got a court order saying he wanted his daughter left in our state. And she was remarried to someone who lived the next state over. She wasnt allowed to take her daughter across state lines without the father approving of it first.

    Answer by sailfishmommy at 8:50 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I would get an attorney and see what they say. Every state and every situation is different. I would NOT move until I talked to an attorney. Better safe than sorry and it doesn't usually matter if you were married to him or not, he is still the father and still has rights.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:08 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Verbal agreement is a contract.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Don't take this the wrong way but is the father abuse (verbal/physical)? If not why would you want your child to grow up without a father? I have older boys and they get things from their dad that myself and uncles can't give them. You obvisouly came to your current home with some purpose. Is it really fair to do that to your legal or not.

    Everyone can bash me but what if the tables were turned. Say on a fluke he had custody and allowed you to see him daily then boom he moves out of state. Unless there is this is an abusive relationship I think your not seeing the big picture and the only one who suffers is your son.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • The best advice given were the people who suggested talking with an attorney. If you can't afford one, every area has a "child custody court" type thing. Here in southern Michigan its called friend of the court... they provide free legal advice. No matter where you live there is some agency that will give you free advice, and if your not sure who it is call your local court house and they'll point you in the right direction. Most likely you WILL be able to move with your son, however if the father objects (ie takes you to court) they will set up custody and long distance visitation. Most judges don't stop the mother from moving, most being the key word there. But they do like it when mom is willing to set up long distance visitation and allow the father to be involved.

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 10:21 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I would leave now before he takes you to court. You have no agreements in place. Go. I made the mistake of staying and now I can't go. I have no family here and it sucks. The worst that can happen is that the courts make you move back. Keep that in the back of your mind as worst case scenarios and run the "what if" on it. And I disagree with what annoymous said. One happy parent is better than two unhappy ones especially with extended family around. I would still foster the relationship over a distance such as you can- web cam communication when the child is a bit older, visits when possible just so your child grows up knowing a father but go while you still can!

    Answer by jokelta at 11:46 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

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