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possibly becoming a stay at home mom..

Hello everyone...I am new to this website (actually, new to any type of online chat!)...So I am considering leaving my full time job to stay at home with my 3 year old - (and hopefully be on my way to having a second child soon..) any advice on the difficulty of this ? My son currently attends a daycare (since he was 10 weeks old) and I know he would love to stay home with me on a daily basis, but will it be harder for me to continue the learning environment at home vs. a day care setting? Any answers would be very much appreciated!

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16paws

Asked by 16paws at 9:43 PM on Jun. 19, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (13)
  • I love being a stay at home Mama. Its so much fun. And even through the difficulties its so worth it! Good luck with it and on having/making another baby! =)
    LucasMama08

    Answer by LucasMama08 at 9:45 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I think it would actually be a better enviroment. And CONGRATS on wanting to do this. I love being home with my daughter. There will be less distractions for your son and will probably learn faster. A good idea would be to just make sure he is still around other children with some outside activity. Are you going to be working from home or just staying home?
    ChristinaDennis

    Answer by ChristinaDennis at 9:47 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I would consider cutting down to part-time, if that's a possibility, and then maybe moving on to SAHM. I have been staying home with my three year old for about a year now, and I am so excited about going back to school for my masters this fall and then getting a regular teaching job. My daughter loves daycare, and I love work. Everyone is different though. I hope things go great for you.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 9:49 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • im a sahm i do love it i have 2 kids ages 12 and 3 and i help care for my dh's 2 dugters ages going to be 11 and 9 yrs old. there great kids but alot of work, but i know there safe. maybe for you can u keep your lil one indaycare for 2 days a week that way he has something to look forward to and u get "you" time. if i could afrt the xtra i would put my son in daycare even if it was once a week. it can be a rough rouitne everday samething over and over but i still enjoy it and being home to here wuf u to mommy is music to my ears. good luck and welcome to cafemom..
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 9:51 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Thank you for the congrats...My type of career wouldn't allow me to work from home, so it would totally be just my son and myself (at least until my next child comes along..which btw, I must have patience!! I have only been off the pill and trying since february..Im 36 years old - and although I know that's not old - I feel the pressure is on!!!) anyrate, my son is VERY "busy"..he doesn't always listen when he's told to, he says no to many things, he swats at me if he doesn't get his way..(btw - at the risk of sounding like an idiot - are these normal actions for a 3 year old boy??) so my concern is he won't listen to me as much if he's home all the time with me, and won't sit for daily learning activities such as arts and crafts, reading, flashcards, etc.. things that he does at his daycare..
    16paws

    Answer by 16paws at 9:57 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I have mixed feelings about being a stay at home mom.. it is def. 100% rewarding. i think your child will benefit from it as well. however with the learning situation that falls on how strict (well diligent (sp?) you will be with your son.. he's not going to beg you to teach him how to spell or do math.. ( or whatever else he may be learning).. so that part will be more difficult. my con about being a stay at home mom is my loss of independence.. I have always been able to support myself and do things for myself.. well now i cant bring in any money so i depend soley on my husband.. which to me sucks.. just b/c i feel needy.. so that's my pro's and con's... do what feels best for you.... if you really are unsure try part time first and see how you like that..

    Danielle.Chase

    Answer by Danielle.Chase at 10:06 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • You know, I just read what I wrote - and I don't mean to make my son sound like the devil! He doesn't do those things all the time - normally, he does listen and the please's and thank you's and excuse me's etc..but when he does misbehave - look out!
    16paws

    Answer by 16paws at 10:06 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I know exactly what you mean about the feeling dependent thing on the hubby..WHen I was pregnant, many people would ask me are you going to quit your job, and I had zero intentions of doing that..but since it's been 3 years, commuting an hour each way to work, my daycare person stresses me out (the setting/learning is awesome - but the owner/director is VERY anal and unrealistic sometimes..)..I am strict with my son most of the time, and would like to think that I will be able to continue the learning, etc..but with the "plan" of adding another kid to the mix, how will that pan out when you're dealing with a newborn and a fully active toddler...Sorry to sound like Im whining! (someone mentioned "DH" in their response - what does that mean???)
    16paws

    Answer by 16paws at 10:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • It is hard sometimes to keep up enough structure so they don't get bored out of their minds, but I love it so much!! It's not a walk in the park. You have to put some thought into what to do all day, and expect your husband to offer less help because he'll probably think, like most SAHM's husbands I know of, that since you aren't working outside the home, your job is everything. I have a lot of arts and crafts stuff and we go to museums, the aquarium, library, play dates, etc.
    Seven07

    Answer by Seven07 at 10:19 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • DH means dear husband(or variations of that). Don't worry, you'll catch on quick! Anyway, about staying at home. You may find it difficult to get into the groove of being at home instead of work. I haven't worked since I had kids but my working friends say that for them, they find it much less stressfull being at work than staying at home. Maybe a part time job would help you keep your independence as well as give you adult time/ time away from the house. About the learning, just do what you can and whatever is fun or interesting to do. I try to incorporate learning where I can but I don't stress myself out my trying to get it all in. And crafts..... it's just never going to happen! My son is 4 and still has absolutely no interest in anything crafty! For him (well,us) it's all about getting dirty! Good luck!
    Gandeluv

    Answer by Gandeluv at 12:24 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

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