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bad dad??

So I stay at home with our 7 month old son. I try to play with him as much as possible, and help him learn the things he should be. Well, when I need to do some things around the house and my husband is home, I ask him to play with the baby. He either immediately puts him in his walker, or he will sit down with him and play guitar. Should I get upset about this?? He will put him in his walker cause he wants to watch tv, and if the baby cries he doesn't want to go to the play room to be with him so in the walker he goes. I guess I just want them to be close and I feel like my husband would rather watch tv then sit on the floor and help him learn to stand, or crawl, or talk to him. Any thoughts or advice?? Please no bashing, I really want advice. I don't want to be overreacting to this. Thanks :)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 PM on Jun. 19, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (13)
  • encourage the guitar thing.. never a bad idea and never too early then tell your husband NO TV when watching baby

    Answer by MELRN at 10:11 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Well, many men are not as active with their babies as they end up being with older children. It's just not something they are in tune with. I dont think he sounds like a "bad dad". I think he sounds like a man that doesnt really know how to play with a baby.
    You might try playing with the baby WITH him. Teach him how your baby likes to play. Get him invollved as much as you can. Or send hiim out on a walk with her. Put her in the stroller (if that's what you use) and make sure she's been changed and fed. And then send them out somewhere together. Or ask him to takke her to the park.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 10:12 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Doesn't sound bad just like some Dads. They often have no idea what to do with them! Try playing all together and showing him what the baby can do. As the baby gets older this will probably change.

    Remember only mothers (and stay home dads) show the same stress and concern when a baby cries and many immediately run to comfort. Dads dont seem to have the same response. And you are together all of the time so you know baby well.

    Or he may just be lazy

    Answer by mummylovebaby at 10:27 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I agree, it's pretty normal. My husband is never very hands on when they are little, he just isn't very comfortable with them. But as they get older and more independent he steps up to the plate and does a great job. Men have a different relationship with thier kids then us woman.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:32 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • seriously my husband is the same way but he WONT watch my 4 month old encourage good learning stuff and not like tv

    Answer by parisonmom at 10:40 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • lol if I ask my bf to watch our daughter so I can shower etc when I come how she is almost always swaddled and in her swing sleeping. It's like all he knows how to do is make her have a nap.
    When she cries and he has her all he does is sit her on his knee and bounce her as he watches tv.

    Answer by BambiF at 10:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • i would be mad my hubby doesnt help that much but i ask him to hold thomas he will...

    o btw u shouldnt us walkers b/c the walkers can make the babies hip joint come out

    Answer by enaNianza at 11:00 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • My husband is the same way. Only when she cried because she wants attention and he wont give it to her because his show is on, he just tells her to hush that mommy will be back in a minute and doesnt bother at all to hold her or see if she might be hungry...etc. his excuse is that she doesnt want him...she wants me.....and i know this isnt true! he wont feed her baby food because its messy and he doesnt want to fool with her not opening her mouth all the way, or spitting it out cuz she wants to play. I try to explain that she is exploring and still learning how to eat this new stuff! But he gets so frustrated that I just take over. he gets the same way when he gives her a bath. or changing her diaper. so its no wonder why I have ppd.

    Anyway, I dont think your case is one of bad daddy'ing. he's just used to watching tv im sure and not used to having to give it up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Although it's normal, it's still bad. Tell him his behavior is unacceptable and not beneficial to your baby. Things are changing and he needs to keep up.

    Answer by jus1jess at 12:19 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Does he understand what your expectations are and why you have them? If you are expecting him to react to the situation the way that you do, or have the same intuition about what he should be doing as you do, you're never going to be satisfied with him. He just doesn't have it in him. I think that you need to tell him exactly what it is that you want him to do and why.

    Answer by evwsquared at 1:06 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

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