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bad dad?? (also in babies)

So I stay at home with our 7 month old son. I try to play with him as much as possible, and help him learn the things he should be. Well, when I need to do some things around the house and my husband is home, I ask him to play with the baby. He either immediately puts him in his walker, or he will sit down with him and play guitar. Should I get upset about this?? He will put him in his walker cause he wants to watch tv, and if the baby cries he doesn't want to go to the play room to be with him so in the walker he goes. I guess I just want them to be close and I feel like my husband would rather watch tv then sit on the floor and help him learn to stand, or crawl, or talk to him. Any thoughts or advice?? Please no bashing, I really want advice. I don't want to be overreacting to this. Thanks :)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Jun. 19, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • That sounds just about like a dad to me :p My husband is enamored of our daughter, but when she was little like that, those are the same things he did with her. You have to let them have their own relationship. As long as your son is not being neglected, let them be. Dad's time will come... dads do GREAT with toddlers! Now that my daughter is 1 and is more interactive, daddy is her favorite play friend, and daddy is SO much better at playing with her than I am! I just delegated bath time to daddy so that he got in some time with her interacting on her level and I asked him to change diapers once in a while and watch her for an hour here and there so I could work out or something. Moms worry too much about daddy and baby bonding... it will happen in it's own time :)
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:12 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • It's a guy thing. Most dads are like that. They aren't that interested in babies until they can walk and talk and do fun stuff with them. All you can do is let him know how you feel, don't get offended when he doesn't think it's a big deal. I'm sure he'll come around when it's time to play catch, ride a bike, and all the other "big kid" stuff.
    LolosMom

    Answer by LolosMom at 10:13 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Well, my husband kinda does the same thing, but when i need him to feed the baby or change a diaper, he does it. The catch: I have to tell him what he should do. He never refuses, but if he did we'd have problems. If your husband refuses, you need to find out why
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 10:14 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Dad's are kind of like that. Once the baby is older and is crawling, starting to climb and wrestle (in the gentle baby way) dad's change....it's like the dad grows as the baby does.
    mamatware

    Answer by mamatware at 10:16 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Maybe you can ask him to go alone or with you to parenting classes, something hands on that will get him involved with his son. Maybe a daddy-baby class swimming lessons or gymboree just to give him that push to learn to want to play with the baby. I know that he should be playing an teaching the baby anyway, because he's a parent and daddy. It's just being lazy when you don't want to take the time with your baby. Every parent has there moments, but that's just what they are moments and the rest of the time your being a responsible parent. Good luck I hope he eventually comes around.. that would be a hard situation to deal with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Bull crap not all dad are like that!!!!!!!!!There are some damn good and even great dad's that are very hands on from the get go and love doing things for their child. There are lazy mom's and lazy dads and that is not an excuse to be a bad parent/father. I would seriously have a talk with him the baby is 7 months not an infant where some parents are a little intimidated and over whelmed by the whole thing. He needs to start being a good dad now or he will continue in that pattern as the child gets older.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • Don't let him do that. Ask him to play for 30 minutes, no tv. He probably doesn't know what to do with him or how to play with him. My husband didn't know, now he's super-dad. It's important for them to bond, having daddy take care of them is one way they can make a strong bond. So coach him on what to do and if he does something differently, but isn't going to hurt the baby don't criticize! That will only push him away. :) Why don't you ask him to give him a bath? You can do it together the first time..
    Seven07

    Answer by Seven07 at 10:57 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • I think it's very normal. Whether or not it's right or acceptable, is a different story. A lot of dads just don't know how to 'do the baby thing'. My DH once told me that he was uncomfortable with me there b/c he felt stupid acting goofy in front of me. Also, he felt like I would judge him for how he was doing things. I know in my situation DH is much more hands on now that the kids are a little older. Still encourage(or make) him spend time with the baby and it will come naturally after a while.
    Gandeluv

    Answer by Gandeluv at 11:43 PM on Jun. 19, 2009

  • my hubby is the same way sometimes i want to cry but i know he loves his boys he works alot and he wants his down time too but he plays with the boys when he wants to i don't try to force him to because that would be wrong the boys know that he loves them and that is all that matters to me
    ilovemyboys21

    Answer by ilovemyboys21 at 12:00 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

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