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I am out of the broom closet to everyone BUT

my in-laws. My whole family knows, or at least, it's never been hidden from them. All my friends know. I have no problem telling strangers. But i have kept it a secret from my IL's. I did this at my DH's request. I did the best i could. They know that i am not Christian but have no idea that i am a witchcraft practicing Pagan. I have told my DH that i do not plan on hidding it from them forever. ...that i kind of plan on letting them know piece by piece, like a puzzle. So that by the time they see the whole picture it wont seem so foriegn.
What do you think? They have told me before they are entirely against the idea of witchcraft. And yet, unknowingly picked out a handfasting as one of our options for a wedding ceremony because they thought i would like it! lol
Is the puzzle pieces a good idea? or should i just hand over the whole picture the next time they ask me what i believe? (they ask me nearly every Christmas).


Asked by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Jun. 20, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (31)
  • I wouldn't have told my ILs at all; I don't discuss religion, politics, or parenting with some people. If it's just going to create a rift, and NOT understanding, then I don't see the point. My MIL knows now, but that's because she came out of the broom closet to me first. My jaw hit the floor, let me tell you. LOL

    Answer by Collinsky at 12:35 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • You do whatever helps you out. Personally the piece at a time works for some in situations like yours. Maybe let them know you believe in true religious freedom, meaning not just Christianity but ALL religions. Tell them how you feel that religion is a very personal choice and no one should judge another based on what brings them peace.

    Answer by pnwmom at 12:28 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • IDK. In-laws can be tricky. Family can be tricky. It's hard to say how they react, however, they should accept you how you are. Just because you are Pagan (I hope this is the right term, if not, I don't mean to offend at all!), doesn't mean you are an EVIL person. In fact, it doesn't much make you different than anyone else. You are a normal human being. I guess at one point I could've called myself a Christian, but now find myself not necessarily believing Christ died for our sins but rather was an enlightened being who was trying to teach us how to be enlightened so basically I don't know what the hell I am classified as in the religion department, anyways, no matter WHAT I believe, I would NEVER EVER cast a stone (no pun intended) at someone else for what they believe. Also I had to comment about the broom closet - I've never heard that and am literally laughing my ass off. :0) Good luck to you!

    Answer by tangleballlover at 12:29 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • I think your in-laws are too nosy. Just because they are family doesn't mean they have the right to ask personal questions. If you don't want to tell them, don't feel like you need to ease them into accepting it. Be non-committal.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • why are you a wiccan? Don't you belive this great earth was made by God and he gave us the textbook to living in the Bible?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Your poor husband you are going to make a huge family division if you do not just use your head and stop trying to be different from everyone like you know something we don't! Just give it up and be normal and go to church and do the right path in life. Witchcraft is a sin not a faith.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • There is a really miserable anon on tonight. I hope your faith brings you peace, sweetie, because you seem really irked by other people's beliefs. The idea that someone should pretend to agree with beliefs they find WRONG because their ILs may not be able to see past the ends of their own noses is NOT a recipe for marital harmony. If I had to pretend to be someone I wasn't just to be acceptable to my husband's family, and he was OKAY with that, that would be a problem. His loyalty is to his wife. I don't think that people should be insensitive to their ILs at all (quite the opposite in fact, I believe extra tact and diplomacy is called for) but the very idea that her ILs religion should have anything to do with hers, or with her marriage, is galling.

    Answer by Collinsky at 12:41 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • OP I think the puzzle idea is great. The more gradually you can do it, the better, that way there's no shock. People have insane ideas. :-)

    Answer by Collinsky at 12:42 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • I would explain little by little..

    I'm not sure what you believe exactly.. since there are soo many different kinds of Pagans.. but start by explaining the higher power your believe in.. if it helps.. tell them their God is included.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:42 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • OP here- It's hard not to discuss such things when my MIL calls me AT LEAST once a week. And for the time being we only live lik 5 minutes away. I really love my IL's. I feel that they are wonderful people. I also feel that with a slow, casual display of my beliefs they will accept it without realizing it. That's my hope anyways.

    And anon 33 ...being "normal" is no reason to believe in God. ...and for the record. ...most Pagans believe in God too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 AM on Jun. 20, 2009