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What's the funniest joke you've ever heard?!

Ok.. I need a laugh.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Jun. 20, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • If I could ever remember a joke I would tell you. I have been searching for a joke I heard when I was younger and for the life of me I can't remember!
    Gigi1969

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 2:03 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • well, this is the funniest i've heard recently...

    The Wolf told Little Red Riding Hood, "B*tch, suck my D*ck"
    she said " no muthaf*cka, your supposed to eat me first!!

    hope no one is offened, i think its halirous!!!!!
    Iluvmygirlies42

    Answer by Iluvmygirlies42 at 2:05 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • lol!
    Gigi1969

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 2:14 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • A man and a woman were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking before their dinner about how they should celebrate their big evening. The woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. Later that night at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago." The man replies, "That's because they are sitting in your soup."
    HannahLee87

    Answer by HannahLee87 at 2:41 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • ANGER MANAGEMENT!

    When you occasionally have a bad day, and you just need to take it out on
    someone, don't take it out on someone you know. Take it out on a total
    stranger.

    The idea started out one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a
    phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialled it.

    A man answered, saying, "Hello"

    I politely said, "This is Chris, may I speak to Robyn Carter?"

    Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me.

    I couldn't believe someone could be so rude.

    I tracked down Robyn's correct number and called her. I had transposed the
    last two digits

    of her phone number. When I hung up with Robyn, I decided to call the
    'wrong' number again.


    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 2:55 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • I can't find the You Tube video for this so I will type it out.

    One is a blonde. One is a brunette and One is red head.

    They ran for miles until they came to an old barn. They all decided to climb into the hayloft and rest. When they got up there they saw 3 gunnysacks.

    They decided to put them over their heads in case the cops showed up.

    About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy showed up. The sheriff told the deputy to go check out the hayloft. When he got up there he saw 3 gunnysacks.

    The sheriff said see whats in them. The deputy kicked the first bag that had the red head in it and she said,"WOOF WOOF" The deputy said there's a dog in this one.

    Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and said," MEOW MEOW!"... And there's a cat in this one he said.

    Then he kicked the third with the blonde inside and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again and heard, "POTATOES!!"
    Mystik-Skye

    Answer by Mystik-Skye at 2:55 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • When the same fellow answered the call, I yelled "Your an asshole" and hung
    up.

    I wrote his number down, with the word 'asshole' next to it and put it in
    my desk draw.

    Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or generally had a bad day,
    I would call him and yell,

    "Your an asshole". It always cheered me up.

    When caller I.D. came to my area, I thought my therapeutic 'Asshole'
    calling would have to stop.

    So I called his number and said, "Hi, I'm John Smith from the telephone
    company. I'm just calling to see

    if your interested in the caller I.D. program?"

    He yelled "No" and slammed the phone down.

    I quickly rang him back and said "that's because your an Asshole!"



    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 2:55 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some
    guy in a black BMW cut me

    off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and
    yelled to him that I had been waiting

    for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his car
    window and so I wrote down the number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first Asshole, I rang (I
    now had his number on speed dial),

    I thought I had better call the BMW asshole too.

    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"


    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 2:56 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • "Yes it is" came the reply.

    "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

    "Yes, I live at 1802 West, 34th Street. It is a yellow house, and the car
    is parked right out in front".

    "What is your name?" I asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen" he replied.

    "When is a good time to catch you Don?"

    "I'm home every evening after five".

    "Listen Don, can I tell you something?"

    "Yes?"

    "Don, your an asshole!" and hung up. Now when I have a problem, I had two
    assholes to call.

    I put his number in the speed dial.




    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 2:56 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.

    "Hello"

    "Your an asshole!" (but I did not hang up).

    "Are you still there?" he asked.

    "Yeah"

    "Stop calling me!" he screamed down the phone.

    "Make me"

    "Who are you?" he yelled.

    "My name is Don Hansen"

    "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    "Asshole, I live at 1802 West, 34th Street, yellow house, with my black BMW
    parked out in front.

    He said, "I coming over right now. Don, you had better start saying your
    prayers!"

    "Yeah, like I am really scared, asshole".



    Starfire73

    Answer by Starfire73 at 2:57 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

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