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love the playgroup, hate one mother

we have been in a playgroup for several months now and my daughter really enjoys the other kids. i like all the mothers with the exception of one. She is really rude and belittling and always makes me feel like a lazy parent -- kind of a martha stewart of mothering who needs to rub it in your face. she seems to be nicer to the other mothers, but she is always really unpleasant to me and my child -- scowling at her or pulling her away from toys and telling her it's someone else's turn. i am usually pretty relaxed, but it's getting out of hand. any ideas for how i might address the problem either directly with her or through others in the group?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:58 AM on Jun. 20, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Maybe she's jealous? Ask which ever mother in the group you get along with best if they've noticed her behavior, and have any idea on whats causing it.

    Answer by Cherrie522 at 9:00 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Is there a group leader? If so, you might want to express how you're feeling to her. As for that other mother putting her hands on your child and pulling her away from toys, find a calm way to tell that b*tch not to touch your kid. LOL I can't even give you advice without getting upset. Who does she think she is!?! If she doesn't eventually get that tampon out of her ass, I would just leave the group before it becomes a big problem. Hopefully there are other playgroups since you and your little one enjoy it so much. Good luck!

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:02 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Oh there's always gotta be one! I would definately confront her, who does she think she is!!!!!!

    Answer by SabrahMyLove at 9:05 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Go to her directly. Politely. Say to her that she has many strengths and her and her child add a lot to the group but it makes you feel upset when some adult takes a toy away from your child or corrects her behavor and you would appreciate if she will not do it again. Smile and say thank you. You can't change her brag ways. And if you notice others notice too. There will always be that one mom who gets on your nerves. Sometimes it may be more than one mom. Wait until she is in dance or karate and half of the parents are that way. You have to start now. Only speak of the things that directly impact your child. Bragging doesn't. Scowling doesn't. Taking objects away from her does. After all we are teaching them about sharing. Don't lecture her. Just you simple I statements. "I feel ___________ when this happens. Please _________ in the future." Simple, direct, and to the point.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:07 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • I agree with the person above me. Telling her is the best way, I think.

    Answer by ajguinn at 9:09 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Calmly say, as soon as she does it. that you'd rather she tell you when your child is doing something wrong so that you can take care of it. Smile and look her in the eye when you say this, so she doesn't get her back up about it and get even more nasty. Make a strong effort to befriend her. Be extra pleasant to her. Go out of your way to greet her, to look her in the eye with a pleasant smile, to offer her the plate of cookies, to praise her child, to praise her. All of this might disarm her hostility, and the other moms will notice that you are making a genuine effort. I'd recommend against discussing this problem with any of the other moms. Best keep it to yourself. If you tell one of the other moms, no matter how much you like her, it will come to the ears of the disliked mom and cause even more trouble. Catch this fly with sugar. :)

    Answer by Bmat at 9:10 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

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