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i think My husband is interested in men sexually should I leave the relationship?

While dating, I found an email from a gay man to him talking about getting together and after our first pregnancy i found gay porn on his work computer but he says it wasnt his, also while pregnant he had ordered porn at our home while i was at work. He says the email was just stupid and nothing and I know hes had an encounter with a man in jail in his past when he was young years ago.we dont have regular sex especially when im pregnant. Now on baby #2 im just tired of wondering, but he is a great father and provider but we have no intimate relationship. I always wonder if hes fantasyzing about men or using porn still. Im tired of the fear, should i go with my own feelings and stop waiting to find out something, he will never tell me if he was gay or bi?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Jun. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Don't ask any questions that you don't want the answers to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • im also trying to figure out if my husband is bi i havent seen any gay pron. i know i wouldnt be able to stay in a relationship with some1 who is bc thats just sick but thats my opinion. if he was i would think about him prob doing some guy up the butt or the other guy doin that to him n thats nasty.i think urs is probably bi if he had gay porn and u seen an email from him talking to a gay man that should tell u something.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Tell him, "I think you're gay or bi" and see what his reaction is. Honestly if he is and he is just not comfortable with that aspect of himself that isn't fair to him or you. Both of you deserve to be loved and satisfied intimately and it isn't going to happen if he isn't honest with himself.  Try just having an open conversation with him about how you feel.  You both deserve happiness and even if you do divorce you can still be friends.  One of my best friends is actually a gay ex-boyfriend of mine. 


    Answer by ajguinn at 9:19 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Since you have these concerns, get couples counseling. Also, if you feel that he may be having intimacy with anyone else, man or woman, then you should be checked for STDs and should use protection when you do get close.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:25 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • There is a few things you need to do and think about it.. Ask him if he is Bi, or gay..Then you have to decide if your going to leave him or stay with him.

    It sounds like you knew of this before you got married and had 2 kids by him..So you should have looked into this then..Not 2 kids later.


    Answer by louise2 at 9:50 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • I don't see the big deal with having a bisexual husband. I have one and our marriage is fine. If you are worried about it though you HAVE to confront him. And how is your relationship? Are you just not intimate when you are pregnant? How long have you been together? Would you really leave him if he did confess to being bisexual?

    Answer by purpleducky at 10:34 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • um are u a man? if not LEAVE him! , duh!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • If you think your husband is gay or bi you should sit down and talk to him, I understand he is a great father and provider but wouldnt you want to see your husband truly happy?
    with that said I dont think there is anything wrong with being bi sexual or gay, its how a person is born.
    I wouldnt condone him cheating on you for his own satisfaction and I dont think its ok to stay in a marrage only for children and money either.
    you both deserve to be happy.
    Tell him that you suspect he is gay or bi sexual and you love him and want him to be truly happy and honest with himself, that you both deseve to be loved for who you are and have a wonderful relationship with a person we choose to be with, not saddled with because of kids.

    Answer by judith_visco at 12:12 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Purpleducky, you may be fine with a Bi man, but maybe she isnt... to each his own......Anon9:12 you knew this BEFORE you got married and had a kid, couldn't you have dated someone else if that wasnt ur thing?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • I would just ask him. You already think he is.. all you need is the yes or no.

    and i just had to add this in.. i love anon's who leave nasty messages but don't have the balls to show their faces (or well usernames).. sorry just had to say it.. i've seen to many anon replies today that are just nasty and rude..

    Answer by starmoonlight at 2:26 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

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