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To my question about smoking and seeing my grandchildren

I do not smoke around them I do shower and put fresh clothes on that I keep in a plastic bag so no smoke will get on them I have tried several times to stop smoking I will keep trying yet in the mean time I love my children and grandchildren and want to see them as often as possible.

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Asked by sherry2031 at 3:55 PM on Jun. 20, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (8)
  • I didnt read your other post. I am going through something that sounds similar with my mother though, she keeps smoking around them and thinks it's okay to do it in another room even though they are walking in that room as soon as she puts it out.

    I was a smoker and know how frusterating it is to try to quit, and how much it wears on you when you have to hear the soapbox speach from everyone els. I put it to my mom this way...As hard as it is to quit, it will be much, much harder to look your grandkids in the eye and know you wont get to see them grow up, and have to tell that that grandma is going to die because of choices you made. Or tell them why you are loosing your hair due to chemo. I know not every smoker has this happen to them, but if you had even the smallest chance to NOT have to explain this to your kids and grandkids, why would you not want to do everything you can to aviod it?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • I don't want people smoking around my kids. My fil would think nothing of smoking in another room in the house. I hated when he'd come to the hospital to see the babies, they stunk after he held them, spoiled their new baby smells.
    I didn't read your other question so I'm assuming that they are asking you to quit smoking all together before seeing the kids. That's too bad. I wish my fil had half of the consideration you have.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 4:08 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Go smoke outside, then do the other things you mentioned. That should help a lot.

    My dh family smokes a lot and when my kids were born we told them together that they would either smoke outside or we wouldn't come over. They usually just come to our house so its not an issue, but I still smell their cloths.

    Its a shame people start such horrible habits that ruin things like this and cause issues for other family members. Young people listen up, if you can quit now, do it!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • You shower after every cigarette? Isn't that a bit of overkill?
    If you smoke outside what more do people want from you. I get the feeling you are being manipulated by petulant people who want you to be their beck & call girl. DON'T.
    Smoking is bad for you and those around you, there's no disputing it, however if you're a smoker it's your choice to do so.
    Tell them to buggar off.
    Ask the mum & dad of your grandchildren if the children are fed exclusively non-processed organic food, grain feed antibiotic and hormone free meat, drink exclusively only spring water, meditate and sleep well & regurlarly and are taken to exercise for a minimum of an hour a day. If they do these and they have completely stripped their home of toxic and carcinogenic furniture, carpets, paints and cleaning products then they can say something to you for having a quiet cigarette, if not - seriously, tell them to get nicked.

    Answer by Waxing_Lyrical at 3:59 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • You have to quit. You want to quit. You need to quit. Make it a priority. I understand that you are disabled (from the other post) and going out side isn't going to work. So you just have to quit. No matter how hard it is. Think of all the money you will be saving, not to mention no longer putting your clothes in plastic bags... I want you to know that I am so sensitive to smoke that if the person in the car in front of me is smoking, I can smell the smoke come in through my windows and vents. I smell it first and then go looking for the arm hanging out the window. Your kids are doing you a favor by giving you the motivation to stop. We have known it is unhealthy for 50 years. Why did you even start in the first place!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • WaxingLyrical all of those scenarios are legitimate but in those cases someone who doesn't partake in those foods and upon invitation does not want to, will not end up having that food in side of them.

    However, smoking stays on smoker's clothes and in their mouths when nonsmokers are around and we breathe in that stench because of the strength of cigarrette smoke.

    That strength of smell on and from the other person's mouth when speaking to that person closely is inhaled by others both non smokers and smokers.

    Smoke from cigarrettes as well as from cigars starts my asthmatic kid coughing and and further compromises their lung and breathing power. Original poster ask your family to pick you up and take you to their house and don't smoke in the car or there. Wait until you're back in your own home. That's a compromise for someone whose cigarettes are more important than their kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • The smell of smoke might be annoying.....but is it harmful? I mean not the smoke billowing around the room, but just the smell of a previous cigarette? Just because we don't like the smell, is that enough of a reason to boycott grandma? I just think it is a shame....Maybe they are trying to get you to quit. Which, of course, you should do....but that is a separate issue. I think people might overestimate the danger of other people smoking....IF they don't smoke around you and it is only a smell of old smoke it might not be pleasant but I don't think I would keep my children away from their grandparents because of it. I don't like most perfumes either...they make me sneeze and my eyes burn....

    Answer by BJoan at 11:26 AM on Jun. 24, 2009


    Answer by molly900 at 7:01 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

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