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advice on handleing two kids?

i have two girls, one is 20 months and the other is 7 weeks. it just seems like everything is upside down lately. dont get me wrong, i expected our schedules to be a little mixed up...but not this crazy. for instance, my 7 week old has colic, so i dont get to go hardly anywhere with my 20 month old. she pretty much sits inside with me all day, which makes me feel horrible. i dot get to eat meals with her, as im usually nursing the newborn. naptime, bathtime, even bedtime are all rushed and not even close to on time. thats just the tip of the iceburg.

i do know that its normal for things to change when the newborn comes, but this much? i feel like my toddler is getting pushed aside. anyone ever go through this? any advice for handling two?? when does it get better??

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crzyblnde17

Asked by crzyblnde17 at 11:20 PM on Jun. 20, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (9)
  • I felt like this and sometimes still do. It really helped when my youngest started sleeping more at the "right" times. I did my best to reschedule the whole family and combine the kids schedules. It wasn't easy and sometimes it ment one was sleeping while the other was awake (great time for some one on one) Maybe sit and watch an educational cartoon together!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Dont you have a hubby that can help with meal times, bed times, bath times? If not, I would say you need to get someone to come help you, maybe your mom or sister or a friend can come help you in the evenings or something.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • Yes, having two is tough. My boys are 13 months apart. I would say finally when the youngest was 3 months things were kind of "normal." If your toddler is eating while you are nursing, can you sit at the table with her and talk while you nurse? Or sit on the couch together while you nurse and look at books. Are you using a sling for the baby? If not that will really help to free up hands and most likely help with a colicky baby. Good luck! Things will get better with time. Just try not to stress out and don't worry about sticking to a schedule. I always tried to do things in the same order but never really looked at the clock.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • their dad works long shifts...he leaves at 6:30am and comes home between 7/8pm so he helps when he can. my problem is during the day. like, what do you do when your nursing and the 2 year old is dumping her lunch on the floor? or its already past your toddlers naptime, shes screaming and cranky, but your colicy infant is screaming too. which one do you do first, and more importantly, how do you find time to do it? i dont have anyone that can help me. my bf's mom lives nextdoor, she comes over occasionally, but she works nights and sleeps all day so...my mom and sister live 2+ hours away and arent involved in my girls life that much anyways, and thats it for family.

    i know it will get easier as they get older...i just feel like now were all trapped in the house and im really struggling to divide myself up between them, while still finding time for me. (by that i mean, at least getting a shower lol).

    =/
    crzyblnde17

    Answer by crzyblnde17 at 11:32 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • You need to work on multitasking. I have a friend who had five kids in 8 years. She said that by the third one she has mastered being able to um, have her morning sit down while nursing the baby and tying two pairs of shoes.
    It will get easier. Why not start by sitting outside and letting everyone get some fresh air and sunshine?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:45 PM on Jun. 20, 2009

  • my husband is deployed i have a 4 week old and a 3 1/2 yr old. when he is screaming while she needs something you just have to decide who needs you more. if the baby is crying b/c he's hungry than he gets fed and she has to wait. if he's fed, clean and is just being fussy or wants to be held. than he has to get put down for a bit while i tend to whatever she needs. for bath time, you can run the water while holding the baby, put the baby in a bouncy seat by the bathroom and do a quick scrub down/hair wash. then pick up baby again and let your toddler play in the tub for awhile. when its time for her to get out, baby gets put down again. and you can hold the baby while you are getting the toddlers plate made, picking out clothes etc...
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:02 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • 7 weeks is still really little. It gets easier. I know that doesn't help much right now. I would start by not rushing yourself. If you have gotten out of bed, and feed both children, you have had a GREAT day. :) If you can fit getting dressed into your schedule, even better. Once you have mastered getting everyone fed and dressed, you will be ready for some outings to the park (which should stop baby from crying). By the time baby is 4-6 moths, you will have a schedule that fits everyone. I know that seems like forever away, but remember, all you need to do right now is feed everyone. :)
    Amber115

    Answer by Amber115 at 1:31 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Oh, I missed some of your second questions...
    I would suggest not feeding your toddler lunch while nursing... food will not end up on the floor this way. :)
    Nap times... put screaming toddler down first and then get screaming baby to sleep.
    Shower... this can be tricky. First, make sure toddle is safe (sleeping or confined in some way). Then make sure baby is away from toddler (in crib or bouncy seat in bathroom). It's okay for baby to scream half way through your shower... baby will be fine. :)
    Food for mom... have little snacks handy... string cheese, bananas, yogurt, sunflower seeds, anything quick (and healthy :)) will do.
    Nap for mom... sleep while your toddler is sleeping. You need your rest to make it through your day. Hold baby while you sleep if you can't put her down.
    House work... you just had a baby and you don't NEED a clean house. You will get there someday (maybe LOL).
    Amber115

    Answer by Amber115 at 1:40 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I had a 10 month old girl when my second girl was born so I know what your going through. Don't get discouraged okay. Just take one day at a time and when the baby is sleeping that's perfect opportunity for your toddler. Include your toddler in with the baby during the day like have her go get things for you (diapers, wipes, haven her throw away the diaper) letting her do things like that will make her feel like she's a big sister and a big help. And getting into the floor with your 7 wk old for tummy time you can be playing with your 20 m/o as well. As for going places with both I know with a colicky baby it's hard but there will time for outings with your oldest soon. She will be fine mine are. Take care hun and GL.


     

    luvmygrlz

    Answer by luvmygrlz at 4:50 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

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