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How Do I become attractive to my husband again.

My huband has stated that he is no longer attracted to me. (I look the same as when we first met) He claims it is mental not physical and when I asked him what to do, he said "just attract me back". I dont know how. We are married for two months and dated for 1 year. I tried the victorias secret and the porn. Nothing works. Anyone had the same problem? How Do i fix this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:10 AM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • i think what he means is how you act/what you say... or mentally make him feel. At least that's my outlook! You might not have changed on the outside, but inside you have! Maybe he wants more time with just you, or for you to listen more to his opinions... or maybe he wants to know you appreciate him and what he does... also, they say the first year of marriage is the hardest whether you dated for years or not. Every guy wants the woman they dated and somehow marriage always seem to change it!
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 5:29 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Assuming that it is you who have changed and not him, think about what has changed. When you are dating, you sparkle, you are interested in him, you go out of your way to please him- is this still going on? I am thinking though that it is he who has changed. In two months he has fallen out of love? He is tired of you in two months? I suspect, but can't know, of course, that he is the one with the problem. Nevertheless, it is up to you to figure this out. It sounds as though you already have been working on it. All I can think is to ask him what he means specifically. Say you love him and want him to be happy, what does he need from you for this to happen.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:40 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • What did you do to attract him in the first place?
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 6:41 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • My husband loves me but is not attracted to me either. I have tried everything (we are Christians so I am not doing porn or strip clubs) to get his attention. He said he is attracted to me but just has no desire for sex. Part of it is health (cholesterol affects a mans performance & then they become anxious) & the other part is mental (sex starts in the mind). He is stressed at work, being a dad, havine a mortgage, etc... Some men find it easier to blame their wives instead of figure out why they don't want sex with them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:27 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • maybe he sees that you have become kind of "dependant" on him to an extent. men like an independant woman.... then again they want their moman at their beck and call. its a hard line to walk. i think sometimes we try to be at their beck and call by anticipating their needs before they express them. and then they view that as us being so wrapped up in them that we dont have a life of our own or any independance. does any of this seem familiar in your relationship? i wouldnt make it obvious that you are trying to "attract" him so much as i would just become my old vivacous self and then let him start persuing you!
    pammd

    Answer by pammd at 10:23 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

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