Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Question for moms of who spank, do you agree with this advice?

Please only answer this if you agree with spanking, I'm not looking for a debate. My twins are 3yo. Yesterday my MIL gave me a book called "Mothers Almanac" that she said was the best she ever read on raising kids. I really like the book. It even had a very specific section on "the dark side" of discipline (spanking).

My question is, what do you think of the advice in this book for 3-6 year olds? If you followed this path, and did it work for you? What, if anything, did you do differently? The book was written in 1975, and I'm wondering if moms with practical experince still agree or have other ideas.

"Only spank a pre-Three if he runs into the street or touches the power tools. A Three to Six may need to be spanked occasionally, with a "pantsdowner" given for extremely naughty behavior. Use your bare hand, not a hair brush or a wooden spoon, so you can gauge your force.

Please answer honestly! Anonymous is fine!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:08 AM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (13)
  • I completely agree with that in every way! That is exactly how I dislipline my toddler! She is 19 mo and only gets a spanking when she is in possible danger like running in the street, playing with an outlet and things of that nature. Right now the diaper scares her but at a certain age it won't anymore and we will be going for pants down right on the butt. Hand OF COURSE nothing else because (like the book said) you know how hard you spanked! I also think you should explain why the child recieved the spanking so they understand.
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 7:15 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • My children get spankings. Not all the time but when they have done something bad they get a spanking. I dont think a spanking is gonna hurt kids in any way as long as you dont cross the line. I have met many kids who should prob be spanked more often.
    Army_wife05

    Answer by Army_wife05 at 8:56 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • We don't spank, but I totally agree with the advice, even if it is from 1975. I would never spank with anything but my hand, if I was a spanker. I know you asked me not to answer... but I'm not starting a fight so I thought it was OK.

    Navymama

    Answer by Navymama at 9:29 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • i use to spank but it wasnt working anymore so now we do a combination of thing we borke thing into catigoreis kicking the dog or running out into the street is a spank able affence with pant down, but if ur going to be mouthy and scream at the top of u lungs then u sit in the pantry away from everyone infront of the wall intill u can be human...this works for my dd and im convincing my dh thats what we should do for his son
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 11:36 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I think that sounds like great advice.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 2:02 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I spanked. Not hard. It didnt work. It made him even more frusterated. He seemed to "hate" me. I was spanked as a child, and I was always intimidated by my dad and I dont want that for my child. It depends on how you were raised. I dont disagree with it, it just wasnt effective with my child.
    DDmama05

    Answer by DDmama05 at 2:37 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • My kids get spanked for disrespect and blatant disobedience only. Sounds kosher to me.

    RyleeMendez

    Answer by RyleeMendez at 2:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I do not agree with that. The purpose of discipline in the early years is to establish the authority of and to command respect for the parents. It should start very early on, when children first start to venture where they should not go and touch things that they should not touch. You want your child to learn the "no" means "no" and that he is to heed your authority when you speak to him. If you wait until he has run out into the street, it could very well be too late. One time is all that it takes for your child to disobey to a degree that will be irrepairable. You start by trying to redirect them. If they continually go back in attempts to defy your "no", then a smack on the hand or on the leg will put discipline with your words. We used this method with our children ant it is being with our grandchildren. It works. Children learn very early to respect the authority of their parents, and much distress is averted.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 3:38 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I totally agree with spanking. I don't know about necessarily doing different things for different problems, but still I agree with spanking. I do not have any children yet, mine is due in October,but I will definitely do with him what my parents did with me. I was disciplined by spanking and occasional time out. However, the time out method is really only useful when it applies to the child wanting to get into something or watch tv, or something similar to that. Using time out for a child who is running out into the street, or deliberately going against what you have asked of him/her is just not getting the job done, if you ask me.
    Mommy2be2709

    Answer by Mommy2be2709 at 5:24 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • My twins sons are 3 as well! I've found the terrible twos were a cake walk compared to the threes. We spank, just a couple of swats on the bottom with an open hand when they are doing something that could hurt themselves or somebody else or our kitty or something like that. We haven't had to use the "pantsdowners". This might be a little old-fashioned and I'm not sure how common it is these days, or maybe it's just that my kids haven't reached this stage yet LOL.
    Twinsmomjill

    Answer by Twinsmomjill at 5:59 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Preschoolers (3-4)
Measles or heat rash?

Next question overall (Travel)
luggage