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Tell me if you think this is okay

My 8 month old son's father has only seen his son 3 times since his birth, and not really enthusiasticaly. He has also not given me one dime towards child support. My partner, who was present at my son's birth and supporting him every day, is who he calls dada. So my question....IF my son's biological father decides he needs a visit today, can I say no. We want to spend father's day together as a family. I say If, because it is 7:00 am on Sunday and he has not actually called, but in case he does....


Asked by missv66 at 7:12 AM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Holidays

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Answers (7)
  • My son is also 8 months old and his biological father has only seen him 3 times also...I am with my other kids dad and my 8 month old also calls him dada...funny how our storys are pretty much the same !! My opinion is that if that was me and had my ex calling to see him or have him for the day... I would tell him to kiss off and not only no but HELL NO ! and nor has my ex paid a single penny towards anyting. I prob wont ever let him see him until he pays up and starts buying things for him. I totally feel you on your situation ! goodluck hun !

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Yes, it seems like the father isn't a father and your partner is. I'd say you already have plans if he calls and tell him if he has any interest in the future to call before the day of.

    Answer by HolliBerry21 at 7:22 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • No. Be generous. If the biological father calls and wants to see his child, let him. No matter that he hasn't in the past or that he hasn't helped pay. It would give you a bad feeling to say no, so be generous and say yes.

    Answer by Bmat at 7:37 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Tell him to forget it. I don't know if you have a custody agreement, but most everyone of them says if it is not a scheduled visit then the non-custodial parent has to call a certain number of days before they want the child. They cannot call the day of. I would tell this other guy to get over it. And tell him the old saying " any man can be a father, only a special man can be a daddy". Tell him that your son will be spending the day with his Daddy.

    Answer by TeriMelisa at 7:40 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I would respectfully say "darn I already have plans for today, next time you let me know ahead of time I will be happy to work something out". He should get the hint. I would also let him know, that he can either be a regular part of our childs life or he can not be there at all. Children need stability and if he loves his son he will do whats best for the son and not whats best for himself.

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 3:01 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • So did he call?

    I hope not. Just because its fathers day doesnt mean he has dibs on your sone that he has nothing to do with. If i was you id work on getting his parental rights nixed

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Thank you ladies! It ended up being a non-issue. He never called. I am pushing for him to reliquish paternity to my partner ( the father of our oldest). I don't get why he won't if he doesn't see him, doesn't support him and has never even asked about him. Good thing he has a real father in his life...

    Answer by missv66 at 1:22 PM on Jun. 22, 2009