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my sister doesn't listen!!

so my sister lives with us. she is 20yrs old. didn't mind helping her out b/c she doesn't seem like she is ready to be on her own. well, she just started seeing this new guy(he's the rebound guy) & i don't mind him coming to the house but i don't feel comfortable with him staying the night. i have a 2month old & a two yr. old & a husband that has to be up at 3am for work. i don't know this guy at all. she hasn't properly introduced us. i explained to her this & she understood. well, what does she go & do... has him stay the night. i tell her again. she says she understands but what does she go and do? have him stay again. the 2nd time really ticked me off b/c she left her door open and my 2yr old walked in with them laying there. she only had her boyfriends shirt on and he only had boxers on. i knew that was going to happen & that's why i didn't want him to stay. i don't want my son seeing all this. what do i do?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (5)
  • she needs to understand it isnt her house and there are boundaries.tell her if shes not gonna respect ur wishes then shes gonna have to go because you as a mother have two kids to think about.yea shes 20 but shes staying in your home and what you say goes.
    Desi2Sweet

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 1:51 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Well, if its your home, and she isn't paying rent, tell her she has to go or he has to stop and mean what you say. If it comes down to it, telll him. If she is paying rent for her room, I don't know if this will apply, its a different story.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 1:52 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • If it's something that is truly important to you then lay down the law. Tell her if it happens again that she has to find a new place to live. Tell her that you love her and you don't mind helping her out but you have the rules you do for a reason and that your responsibility to your kids is the most important thing. Then remind her what her options are. Just be prepared to actually do what you say you will or it will just keep happening over and over again.
    Krysden

    Answer by Krysden at 2:08 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Tell her your house your rules. Whether she pays rent or not is irrelevant. You don't want over night guests. She needs to respect that and go to his place if she wants to get busy with him. If she can't deal with it she needs to go.
    AuntieM

    Answer by AuntieM at 2:43 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • thanks ladies! it's so hard b/c she is my sister and i love her and want to help her out but she can't disrupt my family either. it's just causing more fights between us including my dad. just the other night, i was at my dad's & we stayed pretty late. my dad & hubby had a bonfire & the two lil' ones fell a sleep there in his guest room so it was ok. she is calling my mom & others late at night from my house looking for me b/c she was worried. she has never done that ever so i knew something was up. my mom ends up calling me at dads looking for me. right then i knew something was up.she was trying to find out when i was going to be home so she could get her boyfriend out in time.i get home & she is sleeping in the back of her kia with her boyfriend. don't tell me he wasn't in my house while i wasn't home. it's not like he's going to wait in the car for my sister as she is making phone calls to find me. ugh she is so sneaky.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:41 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

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