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Am I wrong for this?

My SO and I live 3 hours apart. He only gets to see our son on wknds. B4 last wknd, we hadn't seen each other in 3 wks. We both work fulltime & he's been having car probs. (I don't have a car so I can't go see him.) Anyway, he wasn't going to be able to come 4 Fathers Day until a family member offered 2 give him a ride. His mother will b picking him up on her way back from Gulf Shores on Mon. The only thing is that my mom & I both have 2 work 2morrow & I can't take off. I asked her if he can stay here w/ our DS Mon until his mom comes. She's hesitant b/c she thinks he's going to "steal her information" or w/e. She's very paranoid. I know he won't do that, but she doesn't trust him. He just wants to b w/ his son. I will also let him take our DS back w/ him for the week. I know she'll have a prob w/ this, but it's not her son or decision. Am I wrong or over-stepping my boundaries for having an "unwanted" guest stay?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Sounds to me like your mother is wanting to be controlling, nothing more, nothing less. I'd start saving up to move out.

    Answer by amyrw at 3:15 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I see your point, but also if you live in her house, it would be kind of disrespectful to let someone that she doesn't want there stay.

    Can he rent a hotel room or stay with a friend while he visits??

    && completely none of my business, but why don't you guys live together??

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 1:48 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I used to trust my kids dad this way. BIG mistake, don't do it! He can hold it against you in the future if he finds anything in your moms house that looks "unfit" for a kid. Please trust me on this!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • i dont agree with them.. obviously he cant get a hotel if he cant even fix his car. ask her again and see if you can work out a deal

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 1:57 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Well you do live at HER house, and weather or not you pay rent she is like your landlord, it shouldnt matter why she feels the way she does. So in having him stay even though she told you no yes I think you are way over stepping your boundaries. Now as far as her being upset for you letting him take your son for the week, you are right its not her son or her decision, but maybe you should listen to the reasons as to why that would make her upset, because she possibly sees something that you dont because your not looking from the outside in KWIM. And last of all I do think that you are trusting your SO way too much it just sounds like a weird deal to me if you guys are in a real serious relationship and plan on continuing it and have a child together why live so far apart?

    Answer by hautemama83 at 2:08 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • FROM OP: He took an out of town job. He had probs finding a job here. It's only temporary. I am a pre-k teacher & I don't want to leave.

    I forgot to mention that when he's here and I need to go somewhere, my mother has NO PROBLEM leaving our son alone w/ his dad here. I've had to go to doctor, dermatologist, and dental appointments & she has no reservations when it's convenient FOR HER. But when I ask, it's a problem.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • This is not your home. You do not have the privilege of inviting guests over that your mom doesn't want there. If she doesn't feel comfortable with the two of them there then that is that. Let your boyfriend save his money until he can afford the trip. The both of you could save up until he can afford to get his car fixed. Don't be angry at your mother. She has a right to an opinion. If you don't like this you can save your money and move out on your own. Her home...her decision. grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 7:16 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • If it's that important to you call out. You are only a pre-k teacher. Any parent can cover that class. I've done it plenty of times for my children's schools and I have no teaching credentials at all.


    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:01 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Chrissy: Uhm, no. Not at my school. That wouldn't happen. We have to have background checks, finger prints, TB tests, etc. done to work there.,.even if it's a temp or fill-in. And they wouldn't let the parents sub.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Jun. 22, 2009