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In Need Of MAJOR Advice??

I'm not sure where to start. But I'm a 31 year old mother of one. My daughter is going to be 7 and I'm also almost two months pregnant. I've been dating a guy for about 6 months and he's going to be the father of this baby. I'm beyond confused and upset. Once he found out I was pregnant he's doing coke (i think) and acting like a complete dick. My older daughter has great grandparents who have helped me out from the beginning. She also sees her dad on a regular basis and he pays child support. This guy I've been dating has a 19 year old son and didn't pay an ounce of child support for him growing up. My friends I grew up with and I grew apart. I have a few friends but not a great social network. I'm an outcast with my family too. I feel alone and now I'm about to have a baby that I'm not so sure I can take care of. I want this guy out of my life completely and feel stuck. I need advice???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • No , you don't need advice. You need to leave or kick him out, whichever applies. You would have a man in your house around your kids who does drugs? No way. I think you know what you need to do.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 6:23 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • You need to set your priorities in order. If this man hasn't paid child support for his own kid that is now and adult then I doubt he will pay for this one. Two, the drug thing has got to go, no ifs ands or buts about it. Show him the door preferably head first. You say you have a few freinds, well a few is better than none. Talk to them. even if they are just there to encourage you it is still helpful
    karriewren

    Answer by karriewren at 6:29 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • No offense, but I agree with itsmesteph11. I wouldn't even ask or consider anything if I even thought that the man I was with was doing any kind of drug! If you don't feel that you can take care of the baby by yourself, there are options out there that you can look at. You can get government help. I think at one point most people have had to be there. No one is proud of it by any means but it happens. There's open adoption that allows you to still be part of your child's life, but he/she would not be living with you and you would not have decisions in the upbringing and caretaking. You do get to choose a family though. There are alot of options out there for you to look at. But one option is your boyfriend that you are with. If he didn't care enough for his 19 year old son to help support and take care of him, I'm sorry to say I don't think he will with yours either. Stay strong and stand up for what you believe in!
    Homemommy0503

    Answer by Homemommy0503 at 6:32 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • No lectures here. By now you know you have made some bad choices. You need to start by thinking only of the baby and the life you are giving him/her. You say you don't even know if you can handle it. Your boyfriend(?) is taking drugs. No help there you can depend on. There are some wonderful families out there that are looking for an infant to love and give a great home. My daughter has adopted eight kids. We adore them and they will have a loving home the rest of there lives. You can go on assistance. Ask yourself what would this be the best for the new baby, your daughter and yourself? You have a lot of soul searching to do. Then you need to get the father out of your life. Remember you have a seven year old daughter. You both deserve better. grannywilson
    grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 6:55 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I think that you have to at this point in time consider what is best for your baby and for the child you already have. I would lose the guy that you chose to be the father of the coming baby. I would start tomorrow calling adoption agencies and/or looking into private adoption for the baby. It might be that someone wants your child badly enough that they would even be able to help you financially until it arrives. You can also call your local Pregnancy Support Center and ask for help from them. The most important thing you can do for yourself and your little girl is to learn from this situation. You had to have known that this guy was no good. You had to have known his history. Yet you went ahead and had sex with him and made a baby. Had you waited for a good and decent man who would have loved you and your child, you would not be in the predicament that you are in today. Determine to never repeat this ever again!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:58 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • adoption sounds like the way to go
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

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