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How soon is too soon to get married?

How soon is too soon to get married when dating and who married after having known their dh a short time?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • There's no "right time" if you KNOW you're both in love, but when there are kids involved (I'm assuming, since you're on Cafemom) you just have to make sure that the man in question is ready for the responsibility of being a good and loving father figure to your kids, and you to his if he has any. There have been numerous posts here about falling in love and getting married, and then the guy isn't being fair to the kids, or is ignoring them, etc, etc. So... you have to think about all of that, too.
    But, again, only YOU will know what's right. Good luck
    motherofanaries

    Answer by motherofanaries at 7:58 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I think a lot depends on many variables. I know women who meet men online and marry them bc they seem great then the men take them for everything they have and dump them so if someone meets a guy online they should check them out first. If they know the family and know the guy isn't some psycho then a fast date and marriage might work. Many quick marriages do work but remember that half the marriages end in divorce so fast or slow to get married, marriage only has a 50/50 chance of survival. I personally don't like those odds. If I ever thought of getting married again I'd have to know the person for a while and date them (if you need a length of time) for about a year. Give it time to go through lots of scenerios to see how he will react to them. Make sure he's not a closet drinker or a gambler or something else you don't know about until it's too late. Many abusers can fool you too. I'd give it time. (year min)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:58 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • There's a saying about Marry in haste., repent in leisure. Yes there are people who married and had great marriages after only knowing their spouse a few weeks. For one of my relatives, he was sure it was going to last forever so he married her after two weeks. Three months later he was bankrupt and getting a divorce. His credit is still a mess. It is easy to put great behavior for a short while, it is harder to behave as you think the other person wants for a long time. Know the person long enough that your and his real personalities come out, not just the fun, cheerful, complimentary, dating personality.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • We went from strangers to spouses in two months. I had finished college, we had no children, and I knew without a doubt that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. In addition, I had just gotten out of a seven year relationship less than six months before I got married. I have always been levelheaded and practical. This was the only really spontaneous decision I have ever made in my life, and it has ended up being one of the best decisions of my life. We are going on four years with no end in sight!
    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 8:00 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • It's not about a length of time. But it is about how much you really know about this person and it's also about how well you know him. In this day, I would want to be really careful about marrying too soon and then learning a bunch of things that I could have and should have learned earlier had I been willing to be cautious. I would want to know about his work history, his relationship history, his ethical history. I would want to know how he handled himself under pressure, when money was tight, when things weren't going the way he wanted them to. I would want to know if he'd ever been in trouble with the law, if he had ever had any addictions, and if there was the possibility of some surprise children showing up later on. Whenever you have had time to check all this out and are entirely comfortable with what you have learned, then you can get married at any time.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:33 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • When in doubt, go with out.If u think it's too soon and u have to ask others, it probably is too soon
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:54 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • If you don't know him, all his idiosyncrosies, his family, how he was raised, his wants, needs, and dreams, his net worth, then it's too soon to marry him.

    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 7:53 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

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