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Is this a Red Flag?

He and I are divorced, but the past year the kids are not allowed contact with his family members, all good people. Before when they visited their dad, they looked forward to visits with Grandpa, cousins, uncles and aunts. He has frozen everyone out of his life, except for his girlfriend. I have been told I better not take kids to see his family members because it's not my place. Any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If you get along with his family and the kids get along with them I don't see a problem with you taking them to visit or for them to visit at your house unless it states differently in a court order.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I think that if his family wants to see your children, that they need to make the effort. He is most likely doing this because of his girlfriend and to show her that you have nothing to do with him and his family. If his family truly enjoys the company of their children they are going to have to step up and tell their son that he is not going to affect the relationship that they have with your children. Other than that, it sounds like it is out of your hands. It is such a shame because it is your children that suffer.
    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 8:17 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • If his family still want to see the kids, you CAN go around him and take them to see them. If he's cutting everyone off, it's definitely because of the new woman, and I would be wary letting the kids see him if she's going to be around. She sounds like a control freak and if she won't even let him see his family, imagine how she might treat your kids! She's trying to cut him off from the people close to him in his life so she can have more control over him.
    motherofanaries

    Answer by motherofanaries at 8:17 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I never listened to my x (hence the divorce). I'd do what I thought was right
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:23 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • What do you mean "not allowed contact" that sounds to me like there are some issues there. I know it might not seem right but you really should respect his wishes. Think if your mom did something really hurtful to you and you didn't want her to see your children. How would you feel if you found out he was bringing them over to have family dinners.
    Jillybeans24

    Answer by Jillybeans24 at 8:29 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Jillybeans24, I've been on both sides. My mom died 4yrs ago. When we divorced 2yrs before that, she called my ex to have lunch with he and the kids. It was she that went behind my back!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Really concerned with the way the kids are being treated. When I do get together with them to visit his family, they are the ones who have to be reprimanded when they go visit him at his house. I don't want them being yelled at for something that can be avoided.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

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