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How would you feel if your fiance

asked you to sign a prenup in which if he dies before you, you must sell the house in 5 years and give a percentage of the proceeds to his kids? We are older (over 50) and he is coming into this marriage with a sizable amount of money and investments. I have very little. I agreed to sign a prenup in the event of a divorce but was really hurt that he asked me about the part if I was widowed.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I dont think its right for him to give you a time limit for selling the house. He should care enough about you that he would want to know you have a good place to live when he is gone. He knows his kids will be getting money without the house so whats the rush? Ask him why he wants it that way and if I was you I would not sign anything like that if he loves you he will respect your decision.
    heavenlypeace

    Answer by heavenlypeace at 9:10 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I think he is looking out for his kids...thats very commendable!
    ormom1977

    Answer by ormom1977 at 8:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I agree with the above.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I'm sure he just wants to make sure his kids are taken of. I guess he feels that whatever you have left over after doling it out to the kids would be more than enough to take care of you, too.
    motherofanaries

    Answer by motherofanaries at 8:56 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I agree with ormom1977. I think it's okay because he's watching out for his children.
    sheriskidmore

    Answer by sheriskidmore at 8:56 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Let me explain further. It is the fact that I will be forced to sell - not that the kids get the money that bothers me. I have no problem with a directive that in the sale of the house, they get that percentage. The forced sale makes me feel like he is divorcing me in death. What if I'm old and ill and can't take a big change like that. Plus - his kids are already getting huge inheritance from him besides the house percentage. The house is only 1/3 of their inheritance. If he was still married to their mother, they would have to wait for her death to collect their inheritance.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Then you need to decide if he's the right man for you. I'd tell him what your feelings are on the matter and discuss it between you. If you can't come to an understanding btwn both of you, then I wouldn't get involved. Little problems before marriage turn into BIG problems during marriage, if it's not resolved.
    sheriskidmore

    Answer by sheriskidmore at 9:07 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I understand you feel like he will be evicting you. He though is giving you 5 years find a replacement residence. As a parent you understand that "our" kids come first and even in death we want them to be taken care of. Its a sticky situation because you are not the mother of his children, you're the next wife in this case you kind of have to know your place and be satisfied with it. If you are not satisfied with your place than maybe you may need reconsider what you want out of this relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Is it his house? Because I don't see the problem is. As you said he's got a lot, you've got a little. Your older and he is taking care of you, by allowing you to stay for 5 years and keeping a percentage. Actually sounds like a pretty good deal to me.
    SoKamele

    Answer by SoKamele at 9:09 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I think the stipulation should be reworded. In the event of his death if you CHOOSE to sale the house, a percentage of the proceededs should be given to his children. Do you have your own attorney to review the prenup. If you don't I would say that you need to get one. If your finance is atoment about having you sign that document I would say that he needs to foot the bill for an attorney. I have worked in wills and trust, and I would be interested to see what bearing a prenup would even have on the estate. In the event of his death a POA would be null as I would think a prenup would as well. In addition most non contested estates are settled and closed within five years. The money made from the sale off the house would have to go to through the estate and divided up, or if he is leaving the dividing up to you, technically it would be a "gift" from you to his children.You really need an attorney.

    2-1CavWife

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 9:30 PM on Jun. 21, 2009