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How can I still love him so much?? Please read

Ive been married 5 years,I love my husband with all my heart,hes a great man for the most part.But has a very bi-poler attitude.In the last year things have been really rough.Hes become verbally and pysicaly abusive throwing me across the room,ramming my head into the wall,chocking me,grabbing and holding extramly hard.And mentally hes so controling,so controlling period.But then he has his moments when hes so sweet and hes the man I fell in love with.The last incident he hurt me worse then he ever has,it was almost a month ago and my knee is still swelled up,hips messup,and all the brusies just went away.I know you all are thinking omg.But he receatly went to jail,about 3 weeks ago.I have went and seen him every week,the last time was a few days ago,I told him I was still hurt from what happed and he broke down crying,saying he was sorry and I didnt deserve ne of it.told me what a good women I was.does he mean it?Im confused

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I have been in your situation before. I understand how you feel. I know how it feels to think that you may have caused him to do this to you, but I'll be the first to tell you that it's NOT your fault. I am not judging you or him. I truly believe that people can change. Unfortunately in my situation the guy I was with did not and I had to get out. My suggestion is for the two of you to take some time away from each other and seek counseling. Especially him. If he is bipolar there are medications that can control this outbreaks. Feel free to send me a message if you just need to vent. I honestly care about you and want to know that you are ok. Like I said I am not judging either of you. I hope that he can get the help he needs and the two of you can work things out. I wish you the best of luck.
    Miranda0224

    Answer by Miranda0224 at 1:23 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Honey every abusive man says theyre sorry and wont ever do it again, but guess what! they do. I Know from experience that it most likely wont stop. They get emotional making you think theyre gonna stop, but they won't. Im really sorry but any man who can put his hands on a woman should be shot in the head... Id get my kids and leave his sorry self! Ive been through it and thats what I had to do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • my aunt just lost her 5 kids for the same exact thing. get your kids and get your asses away from him ASAP
    pringles_697

    Answer by pringles_697 at 11:07 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Im not going to say they "cant stop" but he needs help. When my now DH and I first got together I went through something similar. He was very verbally and physically abusive, I had never been so upset in my life. I had nobody else but him. I stayed for as long as I did because I loved him, he was the only person Id really ever cared about and loved so much. I finally had enough one day, I got my stuff and left. I didnt know what to do, where to go or anything but I couldnt take it anymore. It wasnt fair to me or my son to see what was going on. We parted for 2 months, I heard the "Im sorrys, you dont deserve this" and nothing had ever changed before. After we split for a few months, he wanted to work things out and the only way I was willing was for him to get help. He did. We did get back together and 2 years later we married. Things couldnt be better now. I wish you the best of luck, Im sorry you are going through this.
    sailfishmommy

    Answer by sailfishmommy at 11:10 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Okay, this is a troll post because who in the heck would even deal with such crap? Seriously.. if you stay, then there isn't much hope for you Hon.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Im the one who asked this question:

    For some reason it just felt like he ment it this time, its like he said it in a ddiffrentway then he ever has, and had a diffrent look in his eyes. Like he felt the pain he put me through. Maybe Im crazy, I dont know, all I know is since hes been in jail, theres been alot of reliefe on one end, and so much pain missing him and wanting him home again. His bestfriend keeps telling me to leave that it will only get worse, but he also is kinda in love with me so I feel like he might only be saying all that to get me away from my hubby and closer to him. Im so confused and such a mess. I feel the abusise is my fault, like I caused him to flip out. But then I think about it and all i ever do is bow down to him, obey his every word and jump when he says jump. Hes put so much fear in me, yet so much happiness...I just dont get it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Somehow this question just sickens me. Sad but true. If you aren't a troll, then seriously what is wrong with you?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • TROLL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • Dont put yourself through that! That is no way to live, look how much time you are wasting WONDERING if he'll do it again. This is time you can be moving on with your life. If you dont think there is any hope for him then you really need to think about yourself and get out. Dont blame yourself for his actions, I tried that once and woke up real quick. I didnt care what I did or said, I didnt deserve to be treated that way. It took a lot for me to get through what my now husband put me through. But he was willing to get help thankfully. And luckily it helped him, it doesnt always work for everyone and they have to WANT to change. Not only do it because you want them to. Until someone has been through it they have no idea what you are going through. Again, I wish you the best of luck.
    sailfishmommy

    Answer by sailfishmommy at 11:25 PM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • I guess Im just alone on this...thought I could get some deacent advice, but I guess if you havnt went thought it, you dont understand it. I should of known you all would be so judgmental, so much for a safe place to vent and get advice from mature women. and to the few who cared to leave a deacent response, THANK YOU. to the rest....stop judging..and actually try to relate....uggghh..................................................... its hard to talk to friends or family about this, I just some otheres veiws on my situation..sorry for bothering you judgmental, non understanding GIRLS...I see theres only a few real WOMEN on this site.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Jun. 21, 2009