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The 15 year old neighbor boy wants to date my 12 year old daughter

So here is the shortened version of the story...not your basic in love with the neighbor fairy tale...he comes from a dysfunctional family alcoholic mom and step dad who becomes violent at times...my daughter is 12 and they had a relationship which they call "dating" which really consists of text messaging, phone calls, visiting at other neighbor's houses and hanging out in the neighborhood until I realized that was what was happening and made her break up with him. They both moped and whined but since his life was so horrible at home I let her continue her freindship with him to be supportive and cause he has no other friends (he's fearful of letting people in cause then they will know what home is really like) however now after a few weeks he is certain she is the girl for him, he is planning far (too far) into the future with her and I have set very specific boundaries and it seems that he just continues to push them..help!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (22)
  • 12 is too young to be dating, much less texting etc. 12 is like...2 years older than 10, and that is still a child.
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 12:52 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Are you serious? I hope this is another Troll post.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • My great grandparents met at 14.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I agree with prettyrayray. 12 years old is too young to be dating...especially a boy who is 3 years older than her and comes from a very messed up family and has probably had a messed up childhood. You don't want her first relationship to be with someone who probably has several problems from growing up in the home you described. If they want to be friends than I wouldn't discourage that, but I would absolutely NOT let them hang out alone or at his house...or even anyone else's house for that matter. If they want to see eachother, as friends, I would only allow it at your home and supervised.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Well number 1 there is nothing wrong with a 12 year old txting!! but 12 is a little to young to have a "relationship like that"
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:55 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I think you should supervise them but do not judge him by his parents. Each peson is responsible for themselves! How does he treat her remind her sex is for marriage and have them attend church together and youth group ect., Let your daughter be happy!
    2mothershelpers

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 12:58 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • wait till she is 15 for a real date.
    2mothershelpers

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 1:00 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Fifteen year old boys have already moved on into a completely different level of development both physically and mentally! You would be setting your 12 year old dd up for a situation that she could not handle. I would not even let my daughter call or text him. Your 12 year old cannot help him fix his disfunctional situation. I hate to say it but your dd might receive inappropriate pictures from him and talking to him on the phone will only encourage him to think that she might be his girlfriend. You are the parent and have to make these types of decisions for your CHILD. And she is still a CHILD! Stand firm and do your parental duty no matter what! You will only regret it later if you do not!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • imo a 12 year old should not have a cell phone, so no texting. Why would a 12 year old need a phone anyway? It's an expensive piece of equipment that they are going to break or lose, and be pressured into texting all hours of the day and/or taking naked pics of themselves. Sorry, I don't see cell phones as a necessity for anyone that isn't an adult or working, and a 12 year old really isn't mature enough to know the responsibility of having one. Unless they somehow save up the money for it, and if they break/lose it then they have to pay (omg just like an adult) to have it replaced.
    prettyrayray

    Answer by prettyrayray at 1:35 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • 12 yr old dating? NO, not my girls. ESPECIALLY a 12 yr old dating a 15 yr old. If he was 23 and she was 20 then ok....but she hasnt even hit puberty yet. He is a walking hormone, he does not need to have a 12 yr old girlfriend, trust your mom gut...you are asking for a reason. IT is not ok!!
    vivianasmom

    Answer by vivianasmom at 2:11 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

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