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What Would YOU Do?

One of my friends is having a hard time. 2 yrs ago her boyfriend +father of her now 5 yr old daughter left her. He was a total deadbeat. Since the day his daughter was born he never had a job or put 1 diaper on her butt.All he did was live off her. Well when he left they ended up in court. He told the Judge that he didnt want anything to do with his daughter and didnt want to have visits + never showed up for court. She didnt want any child support because she wanted NOTHING from him. He ended up having 2 more daughters + told a mutual friend that he didnt give a f**k about her daughter because he could have plenty more kids. So she has moved on and is with someone else. Last week she ran into him in town and now he is emailing her begging her to let him see his daughter!Says he's getting his life together.Shes afraid he'll go to court for visits and her daughter will be badly affected. How do you think she should handle this?


Asked by MiSSHiSCAMP0S at 2:45 AM on Jun. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • She should change her contact info. Let him take her to court, and with all the info, as stated by pp. But she should also talk with an attorney, just to have extra info on her options. If he told the judge face to face he didn't want anything to do with his daughter, hell, maybe they will end up before that same judge. What an asshole that guy is. Maybe she should cut his balls off, then let him try to have more kids.

    Answer by Buffie95 at 8:43 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • it's too bad that through the courts he will eventually probably have the right to see his maybe she should set up certain times where she can be there with them..that way no courts and her daughter can get to know him without being thrown into it.

    Answer by dbodani at 3:05 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • your friend needs to tell him to go to hell. he had no interest in jer for the first five years of her life so je doesn't have the right to come back. she needs to take him to court and have his rights taken away.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 4:30 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Do nothing until he takes her to court. When that happens, walk in there armed with the previous court records with his statements, etc.


    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Talk to a lawyer. It is not healthy for ur child to have a dad who may walk out on her again in the future. He clearly stated he wanted nothing to do w/ her so he made his bed now he has to lay in it. Not sure what a lawyer could or would do about this but I'm sure u could get it so he cant play such games through out her life like this, coming and going as he pleases.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 7:56 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • ignore the jerk

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:48 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • The guy is an ass, no question about that, but many men "wake" up one day and find that they have made some huge mistakes. As the mom, I would ignore him and wait and see if he takes it to court, if he does she needs to prepare herself for the fact that the judge may grant him some visitation in the beginning. If he doesn't then she can hope he goes away soon.

    One thing your friend has to remember is that at some point the child may want to meet her dad.

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:59 AM on Jun. 22, 2009