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I need advice and I'm beyond upset. I am going on two months pregnant and I'm not sure if I should actually have this baby. I broke up with my boyfriend last night because for the last time he went out and didn't answer my phone for hours and came back completely wasted. I don't want to bring a baby into this world knowing what a loser the father is. Ever since he found out I was pregnant he has been getting messed up on who knows what. I came home from work to find money we saved gone and when he showed up at 2am he was on something. Now I'm at a point where I can't imagine going through this pregnancy alone. I have little to no support from my family and his family hates me which was prevalent last night when his sister lied to me about where he was. I don't know if I can do this alone a second time. I've been a single mom with my daughter for almost 4 years. The difference is I have support from my ex's family. Any Advice.

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:14 AM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (8)
  • YOU CAN DO THIS! so what if his/her father is an idiot. you have other options. i beg you to read journals of women who have had abortions and what they go through. it is NOT easy and many suffer yrs from now from depression, anxiety, guilt, etc. if you don't feel you can handle raising the child think about adoption. there are many organizations right now that will allow open adoptions so you know where the child is and how they are doing, etc. abortion is premanent. you can't take it back. you sound as if you are a very strong woman, seeing the not so good in your now ex and being able to call it off with him. there are many women who would not be able to see that and it caustic effect on you and your daughter.

    Answer by ArmyWifeMomof3 at 8:24 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • You can handle it, you may not think so, but trust me, when the new baby comes, and you look into those little eyes, you'll know then you can do anything. Like the pp said, abortion is permanent, its something you cant undo... I had my tubes tied and feel severe regret.. I can only imagine how having an abortion would affect someone.
    You have a support system here, there's hundreds of moms... and financial help is out there if you need it... PM me, Ill be there for ya.

    Answer by Gremlyn at 8:30 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Everything will turn out ok,it may not seem like it now but it will. I am glad to hear u have left this man who is no good for & ur fam. I would completely cut him out of the pic, no need to be having a part time father or one coming around whos getting messed up. My personal stance on abortion is its ur choice not mine to decide for someone else but I agree w/ the PP abortion is permanent & u cant go back. Adobtion would be a great route to take, there are so many loving ppl out there unable to have a child just waiting. I would personally do an open adoption so u can know how she/he is. PM me if u need some more advice or need to talk whatever ur choice there will be someone here on cafemom to support u.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 8:38 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • When life hands us these hard situations it often seems impossible. Keep in mind that one day at a time, one minute at a time you can do anything. This is going to be hard, but it will be rewarding too. Is it really fair to punish your baby for your BF's wrong doings? You are right to leave him, but it's possible that in time he may come around. This baby may save his life one day when he realizes what he's become.

    No one can make this choice for you, it's up to only you. The only thing I can tell you is that you will never stop mourning the loss of your baby if you abort, and you will never regret your child if you go through with the pregnancy.

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:44 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Just because his sis lied to you does not mean his whole family hates you. That's rediculous. I think it would be the wrong thing to do to have an abortion because the father is an ass. In this case, I do not think abortion is an option. You can find support groups in your area. If you don't go, find a church. I'm sure you will get excellent support there. You are going through a really hard time, but it won't always be this hard. And who knows, is it possible he is freaking out about the baby? Maybe as the pregnancy goes on, he will straighten up. And be a good father. But for now, don't let him near any of your money. Just try to relax a bit. This isn't going to be good for you, the baby or your daughter. You can do this. You really can. Just don't expect things to be easy, but don't expect them to be horribly difficult either. You can do it.

    Answer by Buffie95 at 8:47 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • He may be a loser but there are plenty of singles moms who have raised good healthy children and my mother was one. At 2 months your baby has a heartbeat, keep that baby and love him/her and help them become a good person like they deserve.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Well, my father may be a "loser" but at least I am alive and happy. What does the father have to do with any of this? Consider him a sperm donor and move on. At least your baby has a life. Big deal you made your baby with a loser it happens every day. If this is the worst thing your baby has to deal with it is lucky. You will never regret having this baby, once you hold it, everytime you look at will be happy it is here. Good luck.

    Answer by salexander at 10:46 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • forget the father! you can do this! besides that hun you have to take responsibility! you layed down with this guy! now you are a mom! and you have to keep this child and do whatever you can for him/her. and i dont like when girls/women say i cant do this. you know what. im a 23 yr old single mother on disability and i literally broke my back to do whatever i had to to take care of my daughter! its a part of being a mom. and you know what even though i have major back problems and cancer im still doin it! at 23 yrs old! and goin to school! you can do this. Women have to realize we have so much strength! dont ever let a man take that away from you! my baby's father was never there...he bailed when i was 4 months prego and found out his mistress was pregnant the exact same time i was and had hers a week after me and like i said im makin it. i hope i can be a good example for you to understand no matter what take care of your kid

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 1:22 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

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