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I've been crying all morning. :(

DH & I had a bad fight lastnight. Now I'm embarrased, feeling like an awful mother, I feel like my family and him deserve a better wife and mom.
We never fight! Maybe like once every 6 months or a year! But I feel so bad about this one because the boys heard it. And our reason for fighting was because DH says I yell at the boys too much. I've been crying all morning...
What should I do? How would you feel?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:14 AM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Awww...bless ur heart! I know it stinks when u feel that way! But I agree w/the 1st anon...I think the kids will be fine. If u do a lot of yelling, which I admit has been my major downfall as a parent, try to just walk away, gain your composure & then address the issue @ hand. Its hard...but you'll feel better in the end. Gets easier the more you do it! I'm still working on that, too. So, you're not alone! Go hug your kiddos, tell them you love them & start smiling again! Your family still needs you & crying will probably only make ya feel worse! ~hugs!~
    bridgeh2o

    Answer by bridgeh2o at 10:33 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Make sure your boys hear you and husband talk calmly but firmly now without fighting about what went wrong. Your boys and you are not damned to hell. Kids hear way more than parents think, a behind the door private fight is not that at all if its loud behind doors. What kids need to grow well is to see parents fight and make up. Physical fights and verbal abuse are different from what you've described. Your kids will be fine. Just do make sure they know you also talk more calmly in disagreements no matter what they're about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • You can't take it back, but you can use it for something good. Is he right? Do you yell too much? If so go to your husband and tell him you are going to work on that and what your plan is and how you need his support, maybe by a routine in the house, or a discipline plan? Then go to your kids and tell them that you are sorry that you guys were fighting, but no one is perfect and you were disagreeing, and you didn't handle it well but mom and dad love eachother and are ok. In a few days have a family mtg and lay out the ground rules and discipline plan to the kids. It will help u feel more in control and u will be on the same page as your spouse so you shouldnt feel the need to yell to be heard.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 10:20 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • To me if you to were not hitting each other,,You were not FIGHTING..You were just ARGUING..If you and your DH only argue once or twice a year. That is ok.. kids need to see every part of a relation ship..the arguing and the making up part.


    So your kid heard the argueing,,now they need to hear or see you two make up.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:32 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I often feel like Queen W!#$*, but then I remember, "oh yea, I'm a mom and a wife!" Dear hubby should now come to hug you and you need to let him. Peace, hunny bunny...
    writeon

    Answer by writeon at 10:43 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • What you should do is stop crying and stop feeling sorry for yourself. [ I say this with love :) ] You're not an awful wife & mum.. You're a normal one. Pick yourself up and carry on with your day. What are you upset over? The fight, the kids hearing the fight or you yelling at the kids? All three? So what, you yell at the kids, Lord knows I scream at mine and you had a fight with your hubby. Everyone has them. Resolve the issue with your husband and let the kids see that adults fight, but they reconcile as well. In the meantime, see what sets you off when you yell at the kids and try to avoid it. I will also take this advice as I screamed at my son this morning, because my car died. Not his fault, so I will tell him I was wrong to take it out on him. Peace & Love to you. :)
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 11:04 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I had something similar yesterday and to make it worse it was Fathers day. He thinks I yell at girls to much and that I scare them. I cried all day cuz I feel stepped on and not heard. Its not that I scream at girls cuz I enjoy it but when I ask to clean up mess or do something they dont listen. I have tried to motivate use stickers, treats and so on and dosent work. So I lose my temper.

    He asked me not to talk to them likr that and to get things straight, but no one helps around the house not even him. I dont say anything to avoid arguments, fights but Im more tired now since Im 15 weeks pregnant. Girls listen to him at first time he ask them to clean I dont get it.
    Dont feel bad and most of all remember they do love us and the kids sometimes they dont understand our fustration.
    ehall13

    Answer by ehall13 at 11:25 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Now they can hear you try to make things rite!! Even if the DH dosen't try! I think every mother yells from time to time. I think ur beating yourself up! Do you think ur depressed? Any mother can get overwhelmed any wife also take a deep breath step back aqnd look at yourself medication is not the devil. Just take a minute to cool off and take a step back!! GOOD LUCK!
    mommyhero

    Answer by mommyhero at 12:12 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

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