Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

advice, please.. needed badly

my ex (my DD's daddy) and i split up jan 09. timing seemed to be completly against us when we were living together and it ended up ending things.. i have rescently gotten a new bf.. well since april.. i really like him, he's everything i've wanted to be with, but through out everything we have and everything he does there's something missing and it's my ex... i've had a problem not being with him since the day we broke up. last night out of no where he told me how much that he loved meand that not a day goes by with out regretting what happend. i dont know what to do. the guy im with is everything i wish my ex was, except there's no true connection expecially compared to mine and my ex's connection. and my ex, he's always been the love of my life, not even breaking up changed my thinking on that.... im so stuck in the middle right now. i dont know what to do..

any advice or personal experience to this? thank yo

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 AM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • One thing my momma taught me....

    Follow your heart....

    Answer by Dannee at 11:34 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • It sounds to me like you are starting to see the difference between what you "think" you want and what you really want. I know when I was younger, if you had asked what I wanted in a husband, my Dh wouldn't have been a candidate! But he's perfect for me. Listen to what your heart is telling you, not your head, in this instance.

    Answer by Lesli at 11:37 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • make sure you marry a Christian man, and I hope you are a Christian too!

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 11:37 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Bad things happen to Christians as well as to non Christians. Not all religious people practice a good many just preach. Make sure you're with a respectful man and self respectling man. Counselling will help you recognize what went wrong and how to stand strong to achieve your own self respect and give it out too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Take a deep breath and think "What made us break up?" Then see if that problem is still there. I broke up with my fiance (lasted maybe a month) and his problem was that he could not handle money at all. He'd spend it like he was on his death bed and had no family to worry about. During that month, he took me to a bank, told me to open an account, then he set it up so that his entire check went into my account. We have one check card and he doesnt touch the money. See, the problem was fixed. Had he not done that or tried to fix it in some other way, we wouldnt be together. Just ask your ex to fix what was wrong. Sometimes, it turns out that the guy really does love you enough to fix it.

    Answer by MommaWoods at 11:50 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I don't c how 2mothers advice is even relevent! If he respects you if guidelines are set and you let him c early on that things can't go the way they had been and he can't just end it like he did. Good luck let ur current bf know there just isn't that butterflies,chemistry thing happening. He's a great guy your just not the girl for him.

    Answer by mommyhero at 11:54 AM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Yuck. Tough situation. My advice is this: Don't be with a guy just because he fits the "profile" of what you think you should be with, because it won't last. You should really follow your heart unless of course, that heart takes you to an abusive relationship. You need to figure out why your first relationship ended. When you figure that out, you can work on it together provided you both want it work. Whatever you do, don't date both and don't bounce back and forth between the two. TRUST ME.. that doesn't work. It only makes it worse. :)

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 12:09 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • 2mothershelpers are you a complete idiot? Marry a Christian and you hope the asker is Christian too? It is flaky idiots like you that give the rest of us Christians a bad name. I also saw a question you answered about a D&C and you assumed she was getting an abortion, get a dose of reality before you offer advice! Sheece!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I've been there. Just be honest and take it slow. We broke up for about 7 months and I tried dating towards the end. Now we're back together and engaged and expecting our 2nd child together! Some days I remember why we broke up in the first place and feel stupid for putting up with his poop, but others I'm grateful he puts up with me. Either way, take it slow and do what's best for you. I would date your ex for a while before moving in together or getting too serious. And if this new guy really cares, he'll understand. You don't want to lead anyone on.

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 11:52 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • And at least mother's helpers can her her name by her thoughts. Anonymous. Answer the question, quit trying to put others down for having an opinion.

    Answer by tcarter1981 at 11:54 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.