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Do you seriously believe that a stay at home mom loves and cares for her kids better than a mom who has to or chooses to work?

I'm getting a wee bit annoyed at the q's on here today pitting SAHM's and working mom's against eachother.
Do you always assume that a SHAM is lazy and does nothing?
Do you just assume that because a mom works that she is not caring for her kids properly?
Do you assume that SAHM's love their kids more?
Do you really think that if a mom intends to go back to work that she shouldn't have kids in the first place?
Who's the alpha mom? SAHM's or working mom's? IMO it's mom's who do the best they can and who support and help other mom's to be the best mom's they can.
Do you feel superior to other mom's because of your position, be a SAHM or working mom?
Please do not answer any of the above questions, I'm not looking for drama.
I just want to honestly know if you mean to support other mom's or if you need to put them down or lessen another women's love for her kids?

 
AmandaH321

Asked by AmandaH321 at 12:06 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (52)
  • I think mom's should stick together and STOP the drama. Geez. Who cares if you work or stay home (or many of the other "big" issues on CM)? As long as your kid is taken care of I don't care what you do. The important thing is your child is in good hands =)
    Krystal.Ingalls

    Answer by Krystal.Ingalls at 2:04 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • No I do not think SAHM's love their children anymore than working moms and those that say that are idiots and think they are better than everyone else.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:08 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • You are just stiring the pot....I do not think that the majority of people believe any of the above. We are all moms period and so long as we are providing for our families it matters little if we are SAHMs or not.
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 12:09 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Do you always assume that a SHAM is lazy and does nothing? no i am one so i know the work involved

    Do you just assume that because a mom works that she is not caring for her kids properly? no, but i hate that they think they provide better for their children

    Do you assume that SAHM's love their kids more? no, but i think we have more patience b/c we have to learn how to deal with the "tantrums" all day, not just part of the day

    Do you really think that if a mom intends to go back to work that she shouldn't have kids in the first place? no, if she wants to or needs to work, then good for her as long as her children are well taken care of by someone she trusts
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I think we should all stop debating about this and appreciate each other as great moms in different ways. We all do what we have to do to keep our families going. There is less than good parenting in all areas not just stay at home or working moms. We all have different lives and different situations, don't ever feel like you need to explain any of it to anyone. Just be the mom you know you've got to be and do it well!
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 12:09 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I think that ONE of the parents should stay home if possible. I think it is BEST if a child is raised by a parent. Yes I believe a child spending 8 hours a day, 5 days a week from basically till 5 years of age is being raised more by the daycare than the parents. I just believe those first few years are too vital and precious to miss. This is why I am a SAHM. I don't dis working moms though. They have it hard and I will be one here in about 5 years (but my kids will be in school then).
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 12:11 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I've been a working mother. I am now a SAHM. I know the pros and cons of both. The way I see it, every mother does what is best for their family whether it be working outside the home, working from home, or being a SAHM without a paying job. I don't think it's right to judge anyone for that choice at all.
    KelleyP77

    Answer by KelleyP77 at 12:11 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I'm not trying to stir the pot and if you read the entire q they you'd see I asked that you not give your personal opinion on the posted q's. It almost seem's like there's constant battle between SAHM's and working mom's. I'm not telling you what I am, just that mom's should support and help eachother.
    The other q and a's posted on here lead me to believe that some women think these things.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 12:15 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I have to work, don't get me wrong, I don't work for fun. But, I love my kids enough to know that I don't like them very much when we are together ALL the time. Even if I did have a hubby who worked and could make enough money for us to live comfortably, I would still work. I was a SAHM with my first for 1 1/2 and that was great, but then I had my son and it's not so great anymore. To me being a SAHM is harder and more stressful than going to work everyday. And that stress and anger shows and my kids pick it up. They love going to daycare/ preschool and actually most days that I do have with them, they ask me why they can't go to daycare. That is where their friends are. We are all parents and all parents will choose to raise their kids differently, and unless they are abusing their children, we need to just accept it.
    peppermintmocha

    Answer by peppermintmocha at 12:16 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • You know I am content enough in my life to not worry about what others moms are doing. I stay home and am a fantastic mother to my son. I know other SAHM's who are just terrible moms. They play on the computer all day and ignore their kids all day. The kids probably would be better off in daycare. I know working moms who never see their kids again the kids are better off in daycare. I know many more SAHM's who are fantastic and their kids like mine are thriving. Most of my sisters and sil's work and they are great moms their kids are also thriving. Some women are bad moms and if they work or don't work has nothing to do with it. Kids thrive where there is love and nurturing no matter if mom works or doesn't.

    Studies done show the average SAHM spends about 3 hours of quality time each day with her child. The average working mom spends about 2 1/2 hours a day. A confident mom does not need to compete.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

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