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How do I deal with an ex-husband who is manupulating and uses guilt on our children.

Our kids are 16 and 14 he has always seen them every other weekend, holidays and 2 weeks in the summer. The kids have no real relationship with him other than that. When something comes up they have a hard time communicating with him. They are very uncomfortable around he and his wife. I've have tried several times to talk to him about his relationship with the kids and he thinks I'm crazy and says there is no problem. I attempted court once but he brought in a attorney, to what we thought was an informal hearing and we were crushed. Unfortunatly with my financial situation I am was a unable to afford an attorney. I'm worried about my oldest not confronting the situation and seems to be causing him great emotional stress.

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amylynn4

Asked by amylynn4 at 1:34 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • coming from someone who has been the kid in this situation, your kids have to bring it up. they are going to need to take a night sit down and tell him how they feel, if its that hes saying things about you, make sure when they tell you that, you don't turn around and say bad things about him b/c that puts them in a worse position w/both parents doing that to them. if its that they don't feel close to him and that they have a good relationship w/him, than they need to tell him how they want to fix that. if its maybe seeing him one night during the week for dinner, or inviting him to games/events that he wasn't coming to before than it may be something you have to compromise on too. and if that doesn't work, than there isn't much else you or they can do,it has to be something he is also willing to do.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:39 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Sounds like you are the one with the problem. Every other weekend seems like a real relationship to me.
    This is what my hubby has with his kids because his ex won't let them have more time with him. Why do your kids only see them on such a limited basis?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • I think at 14 and 16 your children should tell him how they feel. He should also realize that should they not want to see him and it would go to court, the judge would take their feelings into great consideration as they are older. Time for them to start sticking up for themselves.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Your kids are plenty old enough to tell their father how they fell. He needs to realize that they are old enough to ask a judge to not have to see him and why and the judge can agree with the kids. They need to stick up for themselves and talk to their dad before he loses all relations with them and it will be his fault for being such a knucklehead.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:03 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I agree completely with Ms. tyfry7496........
    Cheeseymelt

    Answer by Cheeseymelt at 2:07 PM on Jun. 23, 2009

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