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should i trust him?

im thinking about getting a job but i dont want to put my little boy in day care bc what u hear on tv about the ppl at daycare doing stuff to the kids , like one time taping their mouth closed. and my sister said when she worked at one the ppl there would have their pick of kid and be mean to the ones they dont like and that just is not right at all. i dont want anything to happen to my son. i was thinking about getting a job at night when my husband gets off so i would want him to watch him if i did , but im scared if i do he will get online and chat with girls and share pics and cams bc he has done it a few times. he hasnt done it since he done it last time. it was when i went to the movies with my sister and he lied and said he was watching cartoons with our son the whole time so i believed him then i found out. idk what i should do. i want to stay w/ him hes a good dad but i dont wanna wory if hes guna do it again.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Instead of day care, maybe look into a sitter, that only watches your son. Someone you could trust to take care of him and if something went wrong, then you would know exactly who did it.

    I guess the answer to the second part would be it would depend on what he was texting or chatting to these women about? If it was just friendly, I don't think I would freak out all that much. If it was romantic, then you should probably move on anyway.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • How long ago was the last time? One year, five years, six months, three days? that would make a difference.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 2:06 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • The thing to do is to not have to worry. To be confident about your son's care. Talk with other moms who use daycares in your area. I would think that a pre-school would give me more confidence. Although there can be bad people in any situation. I wonder if a church affiliated pre-school or day care might be a better chance. Anyway, talk to other parents, observe several days in the place you are thinking about.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:07 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • OMG should you trust your husband are you saying...??
    and a daycare place???

    I would never trust your husband again..
    Ok with that said..

    How about someone coming into your home, to take care of your son.
    I was a nanny for 8 years, Loved those boys...best job ever...

    Try to get someone that you know uses and trusts them..

    goodluck with both..
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 2:07 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • it wasnt friendly they would talk dirty. and the last time would be i think 3 months ago. but he would do it almost everyday when he was deployed and did it a few times when we first met.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Okay well with your child I think day care is the best option, they have constant people around and usually have 2 teachers in a room if something where to happen there would always be someone else in the room so things like that dont happend often ( I worked at a day care before so I know!) If something where to happen you can always sue the daycare too!!!The most dangerous sitiuations are when you have a sitter alone with your child and you dont really know.
    As for your husband if you cant trust him to be alone because hes going online and chating with people thats really bad. Confront him about it, because from me reading this it seems like your husband tries to cheat on you every chance he gets!!!!!
    This might seem like a strange suggestion, but sometimes if you do the same behavior that they are doing like chating with people then they will relize how they are feeling and will stop.

    Might be something to consider!
    jaramilloe88

    Answer by jaramilloe88 at 2:32 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • First, most daycares aren't that bad. You need to do your homework before placing him in one. You need to visit them, meet the staff, see the location, observe the other children, find out their qualifications, find out their curriculum, hours, rates, etc. Some daycares have cameras in their facility that allow the parents to log on to a website and view their kids during the day. Second, regardless of what he did or when he did it, if you distrust your husband that much, that you're scared to leave him alone and get a job then you need to REALLY consider counseling or ending the relationship, because this problem will never go away on its own.
    CoolGirlChris

    Answer by CoolGirlChris at 2:39 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • try to get a good sitter one that you know several people trust if not check out the daycares make sure they got cameras ask questions about the employees and if they do accident reports
    Skurvy

    Answer by Skurvy at 4:17 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

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