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grown daughter

i have a 24 yr old daughter that is going out with a man from columbia.he is a resident and on the up and up.the thing is he gets these jobs and just quits.i mean this could be any man but he is living off my daughters money.he is clearly manipulating her.i want to say some thing to her ,my husband is bull.i dont want him to think we are doing it because of his race he is clearly concerned about people not liking him because of that.should we say something to her and him or should we just go on the assumption that she is a mature adult and she can handle it?she is clearly neglecting her responsibilities???any ideas?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Jun. 22, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (6)
  • Suggest personal counselling for her and maybe with you too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:08 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • wise butt get off the computer.and you know who you are.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 PM on Jun. 22, 2009

  • Since she is 24, its her decision. She has to see whats going on and you saying something will just make it harder on her.Let it be her choice what to do, because if you say anything, she will get p'd at you.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:20 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • I came on the adult children (18+) b/c I am 19 with two kids. Although I feel like I am 30, I am 19 and thought you would like to hear from a different perspective....

    My ex (first sons father) was half puerto-rican and did the same thing. No matter how much my mother would tell me that he was manipulating me, I would not listen. It took a year and a half of psycial and mental abuse to find out for myself. I was 16-17 at the time so there is an age difference but if she is anything like me, I hate to say it but she has to find out on her own.
    LiSsY0924

    Answer by LiSsY0924 at 6:07 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • You could just ask her how it is going and see what she says....She may want to talk about it if you don't push too hard. If not, then it is her business...Just let her know you are there for her. If the conversation does come up, and you focus only on the job and financial situation, how can anyone say it has anything to do with the fact that he is from Columbia? I would let her lead the conversation, though. Don't make her have to defend herself or even him to you.....that will only make it harder for her to talk about the problem! Good luck!
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 11:16 AM on Jun. 24, 2009

  • you can try to talk to her maybe she will listen but she might not and may have to just find out the hard way.
    Skurvy

    Answer by Skurvy at 4:14 AM on Aug. 25, 2009

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